The Sprit of Giving

I know it is always better to give than to receive but it really hit home with"my people". The residents in my home were not called residents when I started this . They were and always will be "my people". This was my family and I treated them like family. We laughed together and of course there were times when we cried together.

When holidays came it was very hard on the ones who did not have any relatives or friends calling on them or sending cards. You cannot imagine, dear reader, how important those cards were to them. It meant someone cared where they were and missed them. To not receive a card would be very hard, but I had an answer for that. The Department of Adult Services in my area always came through if I called with a problem. Someone would come calling on my people and they always brought more gifts than we needed. Of course Sister Lauren from Catholic Family Services would drop by with more gifts. Than came the other churches and there would be so much for these beautiful people. The churches also sent the Youth Choir to sing and I always cried at the beauty of this. They would take "requests" from the folks and it was just unbelievably beautiful. There were times when someone would get depressed and I had a great answer for them. I would tell them if they wanted to cry we would all get together next Tuesday at the table with a box of Kleenex and just cry. I said I didn't have time today because I would have red eyes to match my hair and that wasn't good. It always seemed to work.

There was one person who came to visit her father-in-law and she brought two children with her. I said ti the children " I bet your waiting for Santa to come" and the lady got so mad!!!! She informed me that she never lied to her children and they knew better than to believe in such stupidity!!. I was really shocked but said I was sorry but we believed in Santa and that was the end of the conversation. After she left her father-in-law said he was sorry she was rude but that he hoped Santa would find him!!. I gave him a big hug and said I was sure he would and of course he did.!!!

One of the things my people enjoyed a lot was decorating. Some would hang things and others supervised. When it came to the tree they all managed to help in one way or another. One year we had decorated the tree and it was so beautiful with all the trim and lights. One lady, who used a walker, was walking past the tree on her way to the dinner table, lost her balance and fell on the tree!! I must tell you, dear reader, that I laughed so hard----she was not hurt --but if you can imagine this lady who was 5'7" weighed about 200 , on the floor with part of the tree, with the lights still on, on her you would laugh also.

On Christmas morning ,while having breakfast, it was always mentioned who heard the noises on the roof last night, or who was peeking!! These people were just like kids and I loved all of it.

I do hope someone enjoys this because it is so nice to share my memories of all the years gone by-------

Love, Red

The day before Christmas

The day before Christmas I was thinking back to when I got a phone call on the day before Christmas. . I had only been in business of caring for the elderly for 18 months but word spread fast and I had 7 residents by now. I had only planned to have 5 but here is another rule . I made a Golden Rule that I would never turn anyone away weather they could pay or not. That story is for another time, dear reader.When I answered the phone it was Sister Lauren, with the Catholic Family Community Services,and she was looking for a bed!! Surprise! Surprise! She was at the Saratoga Hospital and was trying to find a place for an 88 year old woman . The lady had been beaten and raped and than managed to crawl, in the snow and cold, two blocks for help. The people called 911 and she was taken to the hospital. The Dr.'s said she needed to go to a facility for permanent care. She had been living in a shack with dirt floors and depending on "friends" for help. These so called friends would charge her $5.00 for a loaf of bread so she really was in a terrible situation. Her husband had died when he was 28 from a heart attack and she never re-married. She had her Veterans Pension & Social Security which amounted to about $450.00 a month.When Sister Lauren asked if I had an extra bed I said of course. Do you think I could say no on Christmas Eve? I am not sure how I done it but she brought Verna to my house. Verna was a tiny lady about 4'10" and probably weighed 90 pounds. When she came into the house she was so shocked because she had never been in a house with floors let alone carpets. She just glowed like a child looking at the decorations. It made everyone happy just to watch her. When we got her ready for her bath she was so scared. It seems she had never seen a tub or shower before so it was interesting. She had a nice warm bath and had her hair washed. IT was so long but I managed to wash and dry it. The drier really fascinated her!! I noticed she was getting very upset and I asked her what was wrong. She said she was afraid I would send her back to where she had been living in the morning. I reassured her she would always be with me. The next morning when the residents had finished breakfast we gathered in the living room for the opening of the gifts. When I handed her a gift she just cried. It seems she had not received anything in years and could not understand how there was a gift for her there. I told her I knew she was going to receive gifts because I had caught a glimpse of Santa just as he was leaving!! That was one of many happy Christmas's we had at Miner's Home for the Elderly.
Love to all, Red



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Freedom for the Elderly

The day has finally arrived!!

I have reached the point where I am not only a caregiver for the elderly ---I am also one of the elderly. I feel like they look at me and are thinking " How can she take care of me when she is also elderly"??
How do you know when your elderly? When your 60-70 can't see good or hear good?? This is a label like now your a senior citizen ;over the hill and more!!
I found out I was elderly when I broke my tailbone and when 911 was called it was " an elderly lady has fallen!!!!" I guess I graduated.

I got involved in this venture many years ago when I started a Home for the Elderly. Many people say they could never stand this type of work but to me it is not a job.You need a sense of humor and know how to laugh because that can get you through almost anything.

One of my Golden Rules was NEVER let anyone know you don't know what is wrong!! No matter what the problem is you learn how to "wing it", as the Dr Pitkin was always saying.

If a resident said "I really don't feel good today" You would always say " I wasn't feeling good earlier but now I have had breakfast I feel better!" The goal was to get their mind on something else.

I had one resident who had a very bad compulsive dis-order and she wanted to wash her hands constantly. The Dr. finally got her on some medicine that made her stop but it took a while. She was always sitting in a rocking chair, looking out the window and keeping her eye on the bathroom door. This was to make sure when she wanted to wash her hands the sink would be available!

One day I got another resident in and it got very interesting. He was a little man ( about 5'3" and he happened to pick a rocking chair next to Emma. Those two would sit and rock and discuss their lives for hours. Neither one of them liked TV so they just seemed to go together. I thought this was great because Emma had a rough life and was really a very lonely lady.

When Emma's family brought her to me they never told her she was going to be living there. They brought her in and told her she had been invited for lunch and they started to leave and she grabbed her coat. They told her she was staying and walked out-- just like that. She was crying so hard and begging me to help--- it was so hard on everyone. I finally got her quiet and talked and talked to her . She adjusted but it was so hard. They only came to visit her twice in four years so I was happy she found a friend.

One morning , as I was fixing breakfast for the residents I was listening to them talk when all at once Emma said, " Ed would you marry me?" I stopped what I was doing because I got a terrible feeling that he would say the wrong thing. He was a perfect gentleman through this. He rocked a few times and said ,very nicely, " Emma , it is so nice of you to ask but I promised my wife I would never marry again". Emma kind of sighed and said "OK". I never let on I heard but we gave Emma extra nice compliments for a long time.

I remember one resident quite clearly. Her name was Sarah and she loved cats. I even broke one of my rules buy allowing her to have a kitten in her room. Sarah was in her 80's and had a very bad heart. We really had to watch her closely because she was also on oxygen 24 hours a day. She demanded attention all the time but we were able to work with her very easily but talking about the cat. She fell in love with the Dr. who made house calls. If she knew he was coming she jumped off the bed, scurried to the bathroom and proceeded to wash herself. Than she would put on a pair of baby doll pajama's dab on the perfume and wait until she heard him in the house. At this point she would "recline" on her bed in what she thought was a seductive pose. The Dr. knew this and was always very nice to her. One day as he was checking her heart she said" How many children do you have?" He replied, "I have five children". It got very quiet and than she said" You better keep your pants zipped from now on ". I was so embarrassed but he took it stride and finished checking her out and left. She lived with me for about two years and died. When they read her will she had left everything she had to Cornell University for cat research!. I guess she got the last meow!!
Will try to post more next week.