It was a beautiful day that day. It looked like we had a full schedule for the day ahead. I was going to work with my sister, Esther, until noon and then Chris was coming in for the 12:00PM - 8:00PM shift.
Chris had worked for me for many years and was a great person. She was so friendly and easy going. All of the people thought she was great.
On this day we had Dr. Finger coming to do everyone’s feet. This always took a good hour and sometimes longer. I always get a laugh with his name but it is true. He is one of the nicest foot doctors I have ever had the pleasure of working with. Just simply great!! He always took his time and spoke to everyone. It made them feel good and proud that he didn’t hurry and always made sure he didn’t hurt anyone. On the day he was due to show up everyone had to have their feet soaked. It was very important and the folks loved every bit of it. I always made a big production of this by telling someone their feet smelled. The other line was “How long have you been wearing these socks??” or “Why have you got socks with holes- do you think we could throw them away?? It was always a very happy day for the doctor and the people.
The only person who wasn’t happy was Steve. Steve had Alzheimer’s. It was very hard to get him to sit still for any length of time so we always waited until the doctor showed up before we started soaking his feet. This seemed to work pretty well. Steve had come to live with me when his wife had a heart attack. The story she told the doctor was –she fell down the stairs and Steve wasn’t home. When he came home she hollered and hollered for him to help her but he said he was fixing dinner and to be quiet. She was finally able to pull herself across the room and got the phone and called 911. When the first responders came they had a hard time with Steve. He wasn’t going to let them in but he finally did. They said she had to go to the hospital and she said Steve had to go also; he couldn’t be left alone. They took both of them to the hospital and he sat by her bed all night and slept. The next day the Dr. Jolly called me. He said’ I have a patient here with a bad heart and her husband has Alzheimer’s and is sitting with her. Can you come and help her?” I went right to the hospital. When I arrived in the room I said very quietly, “Good Morning Mrs. White. I have a Home for the Elderly. Your doctor told me your husband needed a place to stay so I thought he could go with me.” She was exhausted but she replied “I don’t think he will go with you. He never leaves me”. I turned around and with a big smile on my face, in my best voice said “Hi Steve! I wonder if you would like to go get a cup of coffee and a doughnut with me.”He said “I sure would but I don’t have a coat”. I said, don’t you worry about a coat, I have my van right outside the door and the heater is on. “Let’s go now and come back later”. He got right up and I said to Mrs. White “I will be back in an hour and you get some sleep.” I took Steve to my home and when we got inside my sister, Esther, was waiting. I had called her on the phone and prepared her for Steve. She said” Hi Steve, I got a cup of coffee and a fresh donut for you”! He sat right down just as happy as a clam. I went back to the hospital and told Mrs. White where her husband was. She couldn’t believe he was happy. She was so relieved to know he was going to be ok and she went to sleep. She was in the hospital for almost a month but Steve was fine with us. It took a lot of patience just to keep him happy but we all tried. Mrs. White said he had been a stock broker all his life so we figured out a plan. If he started to pace I would tell him to look up some stock and he would sit down and start reading the stock market. Steve was a perfect gentleman at all times. There was a chair in the living room he always called ‘his chair’. This was typical of all of the family. Each one had their own chair. On this day Esther had taken the cover off his chair and washed it. Steve wouldn’t sit down and we couldn’t figure out what was wrong. He wasn’t interested in the stock market or anything else, just kept pacing. Then came the dawn!! Esther got the cover back on the chair and he sat right down. That is when we realized with an Alzheimer person you couldn’t change anything
Dr. Finger was supposed to be there at 4:00 but he was late. It was almost 4:30 and I was a little nervous because we ate at 5:00 and it made it a little awkward if we got off schedule. It always took the doctor a good hour to do everyone and he loved to talk. Don’t get me wrong, gentle reader, but when I say he liked talking…I meant he really liked talking.
Steve was really starting to get upset. He had soaked his feet and was ready for the doctor. Dr. Finger finally arrived and he did Steve first. Dr. Finger started on the rest of the folks and everything went smoothly. By the time we were done it was 5:30 and everyone was starved. Dinner was uneventful and by 6:30 they were all watching the news.
I left and was in the bedroom when Chris called and said “I can’t find Steve. I have looked everywhere and he is not here.”I immediately started looking. He never went off the porch so I went through all the bedrooms and no Steve!!! I said to Chris” He has to be here somewhere so we will look again!!” Chris went one way and I went the other. I looked in Pat’s room, no luck, in Bob’s room, no luck, in Selma’s room, no luck, in Jim’s room but Jim was sleeping so I met Chris back in the dining room. She is pretty upset by now and so am I. She said “What are we going to do??!!” I said “I am going to call 911 because this is serious”!! Just as I finished saying that I glance around the room at the folks watching TV and THERE SAT JIM!! How could Jim be watching the news if he was sleeping? I go back to Jim’s room and guess what?? Steve is sleeping in Jim’s bed. We had washed bedspreads and Chris put Steve’s on Jim’s bed. Steve saw the bedspread and he figured it was his bed so he went to bed. I won’t tell you how relieved I was and happy but I will tell you this. We never changed the bedspread or the cover on Steve’ things again!! I had to buy double of these things so when they were washed he still had one on the bed and chair. That is how important these items were to a person with Alzheimers.
Steve really helped me understand what a horrible disease Alzheimer’s is. You could not change anything in his room; the colors had to stay the same. He didn’t like any murder stories on TV and some of the soap operas upset him. He loved his wife dearly and we always talked about her to him. We would make it a point to use her name so he would not forget it. Dr. Jolly was the best doctor for figuring out his medicine. I took Steve to see him many times and Dr. Jolly was able to get him on medicines to help with the pacing. A few months later I got another person with this same thing and by than I knew what to expect.
Well, gentle reader, you have a great day because you sure deserve it!!!!
Love Red
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
WHAT'S FOR DINNER
It was a really beautiful day when things started going wrong. One of the aides had called in sick so I was on my own. Now you know, gentle reader, I can handle anything going through my home. Like Dr. Pitkin always said “You just wing it and your fine”! We were supposed to have waffles for breakfast but the waffle machine broke and from then on it was downhill! I offered French toast but Harold didn’t want French toast so I said pancakes. Pete didn’t want any pancakes and Pat said she would like an omelet. I just kept smiling and talking so they wouldn’t notice it was taking a long time for the food to appear. I was doing great until Barry started pounding on his table in his room. Barry had Huntington’s disease and always stayed in his room. I went in and told him breakfast was coming and just be patient. He smiled and said he would wait. You just felt like giving him a big hug—so I did. I finally got everyone what they wanted for breakfast and they were happy. Harold thought he would go for a short walk and I reminded him not to go past the end of the driveway. Them Pat said she wanted a shower. I asked if she could wait because I didn’t want to try to do that without another person there. She was not too happy because her husband was coming to visit. I told her we would wash her up and she would be beautiful. She liked that. Selma decided she wanted to watch something different on TV so now we have a small disagreement going. Sam said he wanted the TV left where it was. I reminded him he had a TV in his room but he said he didn’t want to watch TV alone. I said Ok I will take Selma in your room and she can watch her program. He thought that was just great and he would go and watch with her! I tell you dear reader; they were like a bunch of little kids. Then I noticed Harold wasn’t back from his walk. I hurried outdoors and got on the golf cart to go to the end of the driveway. I couldn’t see Harold and I got a terrible feeling. I looked down the road and ..no Harold. I wnet back to the house and parked the gof cart—I was going to call 911 and here comes Harold out oif the garage! He said he found a nice place to sit out there and it was nice and quiet. Then he heard me and figured he better let me know where he was!
We made it thru lunch fine and most of them went to take a nap. I received a call from the county and they were looking for a room. You know the answer to that one. I told Pat she was going to have a roommate for a few days and she was ok with that. All the people knew me and they always shared things. It was such a great feeling to be able to help other people. I must say my people were never selfish when it came to having another person move in.
Carol, from the county, came with a lady named Mary. It seems Mary’s husband had died and the family didn’t want her to be alone. Mary was very nice, a little forgetful and she used a walker. Everyone spoke to her and told her they were happy to have her with us.
Now we have a problem because I was so busy getting the room ready I forgot about dinner. I opened the freezer door and thought “Thank Heavens I bought the frozen lasagna last week”! I turned the oven on to preheat and went and checked. Everyone wanted lasagna so I figured we were golden. I should have known better, dear reader, but it had been a long day.
Pat’s husband, Kenny had arrived and he loved to talk. I mean he lived to talk. He was a very nice man but you know the type—you just couldn’t quite him down. He knew we were going to have lasagna and hinted he really liked it and before you knew it I told him to stay for dinner. Of course he was really happy. I got the table set and all the medicine done and checked the time. We had about five minutes so I told everyone they could go to the table. They all did and took their medicine. I grabbed the pot holders and opened the oven door to take the lasagna out and there was nothing there!! I really had to blink twice, dear reader, because I couldn’t figure out where the lasagna was. I turned around and looked and it was still on the counter—I never put it in the oven. I started laughing because it was funny but I also realized I had a bunch of hungry people here waiting to eat!!!After I explained what happened they laughed also. I said the fastest thing I could do was make pancakes or order a pizza. We ended up with pancakes for dinner and believe it or not they were all happy. Pat’s husband stayed for the pancakes and said when he left to let him know when we were having the lasagna he would be back!!!
I was really glad when I got everyone settled for the night, dear reader. I was really tired. I had just set down for my usual cup of coffee and Barry called me. I went to see what was going on and he wanted to know if he could have pancakes for breakfast because they sure tasted good!! I told him he could but the rest of the crew was having their regular breakfast. He said ok to that and was sleeping in five minutes. Barry was really special and we all spoiled him.
That was a busy day at my home but it was a great feeling to know everyone was well and happy and it looked like it was going to be a good night. The only comment I made to the aide who called in sick was “I have rules here you know. If you want to be sick you ask and I will let you know if we have time for that”. I sure never had time to be sick!!!
This was about the time we lost Steve. That is my next one…..
Love, Red
We made it thru lunch fine and most of them went to take a nap. I received a call from the county and they were looking for a room. You know the answer to that one. I told Pat she was going to have a roommate for a few days and she was ok with that. All the people knew me and they always shared things. It was such a great feeling to be able to help other people. I must say my people were never selfish when it came to having another person move in.
Carol, from the county, came with a lady named Mary. It seems Mary’s husband had died and the family didn’t want her to be alone. Mary was very nice, a little forgetful and she used a walker. Everyone spoke to her and told her they were happy to have her with us.
Now we have a problem because I was so busy getting the room ready I forgot about dinner. I opened the freezer door and thought “Thank Heavens I bought the frozen lasagna last week”! I turned the oven on to preheat and went and checked. Everyone wanted lasagna so I figured we were golden. I should have known better, dear reader, but it had been a long day.
Pat’s husband, Kenny had arrived and he loved to talk. I mean he lived to talk. He was a very nice man but you know the type—you just couldn’t quite him down. He knew we were going to have lasagna and hinted he really liked it and before you knew it I told him to stay for dinner. Of course he was really happy. I got the table set and all the medicine done and checked the time. We had about five minutes so I told everyone they could go to the table. They all did and took their medicine. I grabbed the pot holders and opened the oven door to take the lasagna out and there was nothing there!! I really had to blink twice, dear reader, because I couldn’t figure out where the lasagna was. I turned around and looked and it was still on the counter—I never put it in the oven. I started laughing because it was funny but I also realized I had a bunch of hungry people here waiting to eat!!!After I explained what happened they laughed also. I said the fastest thing I could do was make pancakes or order a pizza. We ended up with pancakes for dinner and believe it or not they were all happy. Pat’s husband stayed for the pancakes and said when he left to let him know when we were having the lasagna he would be back!!!
I was really glad when I got everyone settled for the night, dear reader. I was really tired. I had just set down for my usual cup of coffee and Barry called me. I went to see what was going on and he wanted to know if he could have pancakes for breakfast because they sure tasted good!! I told him he could but the rest of the crew was having their regular breakfast. He said ok to that and was sleeping in five minutes. Barry was really special and we all spoiled him.
That was a busy day at my home but it was a great feeling to know everyone was well and happy and it looked like it was going to be a good night. The only comment I made to the aide who called in sick was “I have rules here you know. If you want to be sick you ask and I will let you know if we have time for that”. I sure never had time to be sick!!!
This was about the time we lost Steve. That is my next one…..
Love, Red
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
LOST & ALONE
I was on my way to the mall to get my nails done. I had a doctor’s appointment and I always tried to look my best. Even after all these years I am still not sure what my best is but I keep trying. I was running late so I was trying to hurry. I walked into the mall and the first thing I see is a little elderly lady just crying! I asked if I could help and she replied,” Please help me find my daughter. I lost her”! I asked “Where was your daughter going”? She replied “She was going to get her watch fixed in the store”. I said “Do you know which store she was going to”? She said"No, she told me to stay here but she didn’t come back”! By now the lady was really upset and I was trying to get her to stop crying. I saw a security guard walking by and yelled to him. He came over and I explained what was going on. He asked the lady what her daughter was wearing and said he would go look for her. While he was looking the lady asked if I could take her home. She said “I have enough money to pay you and opened her purse”! I said “No, I don’t want your money and you should not show people your money”. She replied “I keep my money in my pocketbook and my jewelry to”! By now the security guard is back and he was not able to find the daughter. I told him about her money and jewelry. He asked her if she would recognize her daughters car if we took her for a ride in the parking lot. She thought she would so off we went. He took her all over the parking lot but she did not recognize any of the cars. Than the lady remembered her daughter had gone to the doctor’s office and she was supposed to wait for her in the mall. She told the security guard she was eighty four years old. When she mentioned the doctor’s name I recognized it immediately. I told the security guard and he said for me to go ahead and call. I called the doctor’s office and explained what was going on. The receptionist said the lady was there and put her on the phone. I told her who I was and I was at the Security Office in the mall with her Mother who was very upset and lost. I won’t go into what all the lady told me but the result was I was supposed to take her Mother back where I found her and she would pick her up in an hour. I had no business interfering in family problems! Of course I immediately took her back and dropped her off, right?? Now you know dear reader, I would never do that. I just called Adult Protective Services and reported the whole thing. They sent a person over to take the lady home and find out what was going on. It seems this woman would take her Mother to the mall and leave her while she was out and about. Sometimes this was for several hours. They figure this lady I found had a small stroke and just could not remember what she was supposed to do.
The thing I worry about is what could have happened if the wrong person showed up. There are so many places to turn for help with the elderly. She could have hired help for a couple of hours or taken her to a day care for seniors.She could have called The Office for the Aging and asked for help. It amazes me how selfish people are with their older relatives.
Of course I never did get my nails done but, would you believe the doctor never noticed?
On an entirely different subject I wonder, gentle reader, how many people really bother reading my blogs? I need to ask a favor of all of you, please. If you read these blogs would you leave me a comment, good, bad or otherwise. If I know someone reads this than I feel more like doing the blogs.
Thanks to all and will write more tomorrow……
Love Red
The thing I worry about is what could have happened if the wrong person showed up. There are so many places to turn for help with the elderly. She could have hired help for a couple of hours or taken her to a day care for seniors.She could have called The Office for the Aging and asked for help. It amazes me how selfish people are with their older relatives.
Of course I never did get my nails done but, would you believe the doctor never noticed?
On an entirely different subject I wonder, gentle reader, how many people really bother reading my blogs? I need to ask a favor of all of you, please. If you read these blogs would you leave me a comment, good, bad or otherwise. If I know someone reads this than I feel more like doing the blogs.
Thanks to all and will write more tomorrow……
Love Red
Sunday, May 18, 2008
WORKING IS GREAT!!!
There must be something wrong with me. I just came home from work and I feel so fine it is sinful. Maybe it is because I only worked for an hour?? I will try to explain this.
About a month ago I took my sister-in-law to the Dr’s office. While she was inside seeing the Doctor I sat in the waiting room and got to talking to a lady in a wheel chair. This lady was very nice and explained she had fallen and injured herself and was having trouble getting things done. She asked me for my name & phone number so I gave it to her. Did I mention she was elderly? Now you know, gentle reader, I have a soft spot for elderly people. Anyway I I was surprised when I received a call from her brother asking me if I could provide some assistance. Of course I said I would be glad to. I went to the home and gave the lady a full bath. I wasn’t able to do her hair because she had trouble standing and I was afraid I would drop her. She was so thrilled just to have a real good bath and lotion—said she felt like new! Of course I felt good about the whole thing. Than we made arrangements to have me come every week. I went a couple more times and her brother told me some great news. Her therapist said she was doing much better and didn’t seem to be as depressed as she had been previously. Than we come to Mothers Day. My Mother died several years ago so it is a quiet time for me. I got to thinking about Edith and so I called and made arrangements to take her to get her hair and nails done and it would be my treat for Mothers Day. When I picked her up to take her she couldn't believe it. Her daughter, who was here visiting from Georgia, went with us. Fran did her hair and it took awhile because Edith had a terrible build up in her hair. Edith has psoriasis and that takes a special shampoo and treatment. Than Sue did her nails and she really felt like a fabulous. Then I took her home and she was so happy. Today was the day for a bath so I went to the house and gave her a nice bath and lots of lotion. She had a plastic cover on her bed so if she had an ‘accident’ at night the bed wouldn’t get wet. I told her the plastic sheet was not good to sleep on. She said that was all they had so I made a fast trip to the drug store and got her a pad. This only took about a half an hour so it was no big deal but to her it just “put the icing on the cake” is what she said.
I guess this is where the old saying—it is better to give than to receive---comes from. How true it is. I miss running the Home for the Elderly. There was always something going on and it was such a great job. How many
When you can do something for another person and not expect anything in return is what really counts in this world. Most of the time everyone is just too busy and really don’t want to be bothered. I sure hope I don’t get this way.
A couple of months ago I was working in the hospital for a lady. My shift was from ten at night until eight in the morning. I had books to read and a MP3 player for movies so I was awake all the time. In the same room was another lady (elderly) (does this sound familiar). This lady was having a very hard time moving in bed. Carolyn, my lady, was sleeping soundly. I asked the other lady if I could help. She wanted the nurse so I turned on her light for her. It took about 10 minutes for anyone to come. The lady said she wanted to be turned over on her side. The aide replied they were too busy to cater to people and not to call unless it was important! Then she turns to me and said “If she bothers you just ignore her”. “She is just trying to get attention”. The aide leaves and I couldn’t believe what I just heard. I put Carolyn’s light on. When another aide came I asked for the supervisor and reported the whole thing. Then I helped the nurse turn the other lady to a more comfortable position. I could have said a lot more but for what purpose. The aide was rude and didn’t care and no amount of my talking was going to change her.
That reminds me of the lady I met in the mall crying……..
Love Ruth
About a month ago I took my sister-in-law to the Dr’s office. While she was inside seeing the Doctor I sat in the waiting room and got to talking to a lady in a wheel chair. This lady was very nice and explained she had fallen and injured herself and was having trouble getting things done. She asked me for my name & phone number so I gave it to her. Did I mention she was elderly? Now you know, gentle reader, I have a soft spot for elderly people. Anyway I I was surprised when I received a call from her brother asking me if I could provide some assistance. Of course I said I would be glad to. I went to the home and gave the lady a full bath. I wasn’t able to do her hair because she had trouble standing and I was afraid I would drop her. She was so thrilled just to have a real good bath and lotion—said she felt like new! Of course I felt good about the whole thing. Than we made arrangements to have me come every week. I went a couple more times and her brother told me some great news. Her therapist said she was doing much better and didn’t seem to be as depressed as she had been previously. Than we come to Mothers Day. My Mother died several years ago so it is a quiet time for me. I got to thinking about Edith and so I called and made arrangements to take her to get her hair and nails done and it would be my treat for Mothers Day. When I picked her up to take her she couldn't believe it. Her daughter, who was here visiting from Georgia, went with us. Fran did her hair and it took awhile because Edith had a terrible build up in her hair. Edith has psoriasis and that takes a special shampoo and treatment. Than Sue did her nails and she really felt like a fabulous. Then I took her home and she was so happy. Today was the day for a bath so I went to the house and gave her a nice bath and lots of lotion. She had a plastic cover on her bed so if she had an ‘accident’ at night the bed wouldn’t get wet. I told her the plastic sheet was not good to sleep on. She said that was all they had so I made a fast trip to the drug store and got her a pad. This only took about a half an hour so it was no big deal but to her it just “put the icing on the cake” is what she said.
I guess this is where the old saying—it is better to give than to receive---comes from. How true it is. I miss running the Home for the Elderly. There was always something going on and it was such a great job. How many
When you can do something for another person and not expect anything in return is what really counts in this world. Most of the time everyone is just too busy and really don’t want to be bothered. I sure hope I don’t get this way.
A couple of months ago I was working in the hospital for a lady. My shift was from ten at night until eight in the morning. I had books to read and a MP3 player for movies so I was awake all the time. In the same room was another lady (elderly) (does this sound familiar). This lady was having a very hard time moving in bed. Carolyn, my lady, was sleeping soundly. I asked the other lady if I could help. She wanted the nurse so I turned on her light for her. It took about 10 minutes for anyone to come. The lady said she wanted to be turned over on her side. The aide replied they were too busy to cater to people and not to call unless it was important! Then she turns to me and said “If she bothers you just ignore her”. “She is just trying to get attention”. The aide leaves and I couldn’t believe what I just heard. I put Carolyn’s light on. When another aide came I asked for the supervisor and reported the whole thing. Then I helped the nurse turn the other lady to a more comfortable position. I could have said a lot more but for what purpose. The aide was rude and didn’t care and no amount of my talking was going to change her.
That reminds me of the lady I met in the mall crying……..
Love Ruth
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
DO NOT RESUCIATATE DNR
I was recently asked my opinion of DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) orders. This is not an easy thing for anyone to deal with. If you say you want one than you must choose someone who will carry this out. If a person makes the choice it means they know what they want from life. Most of the people I talk to in my home wanted a DNR order issued. If I needed to call 911 when the First Responders came I would tell them whether or not there was a DNR orderfor that person.
A few years ago I received a phone call from a dear friend, Pat. She just wanted me to know she was in the Albany Medical Hospital and due to have a very serious operation. She said this in the same tone you would say “I am going to the store”!!Now, dear reader, I am sure you’re wondering how can a dear friend be in this situation and I not know of it. Well, Pat, my dear friend and I would always call one another if there was a serious problem. Sometimes it would be a few weeks when we didn’t hear from each other but no matter, when we needed to talk we could find each other. It was the type of friendship you could say anything to each other and no offense was ever taken. There are not many folks who can do this so I have always cherished this friendship.
She thought I should know she had just signed a Health Care Proxy and named me as the executor!!! I left for the Albany Medical within half an hour. We talked about her operation, which was life threatening, and what I needed to know. I accepted the job of executor and agreed to do as she wished. I thought this would be easy. WOW!! Was I in for a surprise? You better believe it, gentle reader, and it was going to be a big surprise.
She went into surgery and came out to the Intensive Care Unit. For the first few hours everything was ok and then things started to change. It got to the critical point where she didn’t know me, or her family. The doctor thought she might have had a stroke and as to the recovery he wasn’t sure what would happen. Over the next two days it was getting bad. I tried talking to her doctor but didn’t get any good news. She might be a vegetable if things didn’t improve. She had made it clear she never wanted to live if she was bed-ridden or not in her right mind. Now came the decision time. I was frantic!! This was my best friend and how could I say remove everything???? So I came home and called Dr. Pitkin. Where would I be without this Dr.?? I explained everything and asked what he thought. He said to wait another 24 hours and then call him if she had not improved. So I waited and by the next day she opened her eyes and said “Hi Ruth, where is my sister”? I was so happy I cried. Needless to say from then on she recovered. Now I know what being an executor of a Health Care Proxy is. It is the hardest job I know.
This is such an important issue for everyone because you never know when anything can go wrong and you are on life support. No one wants to think it will happen but it does. Then you have to make sure what you want and who makes the decision. If you do not have a Health Care Proxy already, dear reader, please consider having one done, the sooner, the better.
Until the next time, stop and take a break, call a friend or cheer someone up ………
Love Red
A few years ago I received a phone call from a dear friend, Pat. She just wanted me to know she was in the Albany Medical Hospital and due to have a very serious operation. She said this in the same tone you would say “I am going to the store”!!Now, dear reader, I am sure you’re wondering how can a dear friend be in this situation and I not know of it. Well, Pat, my dear friend and I would always call one another if there was a serious problem. Sometimes it would be a few weeks when we didn’t hear from each other but no matter, when we needed to talk we could find each other. It was the type of friendship you could say anything to each other and no offense was ever taken. There are not many folks who can do this so I have always cherished this friendship.
She thought I should know she had just signed a Health Care Proxy and named me as the executor!!! I left for the Albany Medical within half an hour. We talked about her operation, which was life threatening, and what I needed to know. I accepted the job of executor and agreed to do as she wished. I thought this would be easy. WOW!! Was I in for a surprise? You better believe it, gentle reader, and it was going to be a big surprise.
She went into surgery and came out to the Intensive Care Unit. For the first few hours everything was ok and then things started to change. It got to the critical point where she didn’t know me, or her family. The doctor thought she might have had a stroke and as to the recovery he wasn’t sure what would happen. Over the next two days it was getting bad. I tried talking to her doctor but didn’t get any good news. She might be a vegetable if things didn’t improve. She had made it clear she never wanted to live if she was bed-ridden or not in her right mind. Now came the decision time. I was frantic!! This was my best friend and how could I say remove everything???? So I came home and called Dr. Pitkin. Where would I be without this Dr.?? I explained everything and asked what he thought. He said to wait another 24 hours and then call him if she had not improved. So I waited and by the next day she opened her eyes and said “Hi Ruth, where is my sister”? I was so happy I cried. Needless to say from then on she recovered. Now I know what being an executor of a Health Care Proxy is. It is the hardest job I know.
This is such an important issue for everyone because you never know when anything can go wrong and you are on life support. No one wants to think it will happen but it does. Then you have to make sure what you want and who makes the decision. If you do not have a Health Care Proxy already, dear reader, please consider having one done, the sooner, the better.
Until the next time, stop and take a break, call a friend or cheer someone up ………
Love Red
Saturday, May 10, 2008
KEEP SMILING!!
I started to write about Larry in my last blog. Larry had to have the biggest smile I ever saw!! Even when I got the point of exasperation with him he would just smile and say, very softly, “I didn’t mean it”!!
Larry was 83 when his daughter-in-law brought him to my home. She had told me he had slight dementia and as long as he took his medicine he would be OK. She said they lived in a mobile home with two small children and it was just too much for the family. She brought him on a sunny day and when he came in the door he had a huge smile. He didn’t have many clothes with him so I called Sister Lauren for help. The daughter-in-law, Nancy, only stayed about half an hour and she was gone. She said to call if we needed anything and she would be back to visit. Where have I heard this before?? I am telling you, dear reader, I knew when she left I had a problem. She had left his medicine and the instructions for it. I discovered within two days why she didn’t want him. He was on heavy doses of Haldol which just drugged him up. It was hard to get him to do anything---even take a bath. He would take his medicine and then sit down and sleep. I did not want my people sleeping all the time. I never believed in drugging the folks just to keep everyone quiet. Larry wore depends and when he had an “accident” he would go in his room, take them off and hide the wet Depends in somebody’s drawer. This created all kinds of problems and he just didn’t seem to understand.
I called his doctor and we discussed the medicine. I told him I wanted the Hadol stopped and he agreed. Within three days you could see a huge change in Larry. He smiled all the time but he wanted to be in the kitchen with the aide. Sarah was a very pretty female and Larry just loved to be around her. She finally got him to understand there was a line in the floor and he had to stay on the other side. It was funny dear reader because all you had to do was point to the line and there was Larry with this big smile saying “I see the line”!
There was a day when Larry didn’t smile much. I had wanted new carpeting for quite some time and my dear friend, also named Larry, came to install the carpeting. Well dear reader, it was a total mess. I had tried to empty the rooms for him and everyone was very understanding except Larry. I had breakfast served on the outdoor patio and he was not going outdoors to eat!! So I fixed him a place inside. He started following my friend Larry around and was really getting in the way. Of course my friend never complained but I knew we had to do something. It was almost lunch time and Sarah came to work. She got the outside table ready and got Larry to help her. Than when everyone was outside eating (including Larry) I locked the doors so he couldn’t get it. Well, I am telling you this is the only time I ever saw him mad. He was really upset and angry so I let him in and we just tried to work around him. It took some doing and a lot of patience but we managed. I am telling you, dear reader, even Larry, the carpet man, was smiling!!! When it was all done Larry, my resident, said “I have to go take a nap now I am so tired of helping”!!!
When other people got visitors you could see Larry looking out the window and you knew he wanted to see his family. That was one of the sad times. In all the time Larry was with us, about 2 years, Nancy came to see him once a month. That was to pay his rent. . His son was “just so busy” but he sent his love!!! Than the day came Nancy said they were going to take Larry back home because he had no money left. It seems the family thought if they bought a house with his money they could all live together. I felt terrible about this and Larry didn’t understand why he had to leave. The other people really got upset and depressed because Larry was one of the family now. I heard from his doctor later that Nancy had him put back on Haldol and he was really in rough shape. He died within a year of leaving our home. The one thing I will always remember about Larry is the way his face would light up and the big smile whenever he saw Sarah!!!
It was later in the day when I got the urgent phone call about a DNR order. I will save this story for the next time gentle reader!!
Love Red
Larry was 83 when his daughter-in-law brought him to my home. She had told me he had slight dementia and as long as he took his medicine he would be OK. She said they lived in a mobile home with two small children and it was just too much for the family. She brought him on a sunny day and when he came in the door he had a huge smile. He didn’t have many clothes with him so I called Sister Lauren for help. The daughter-in-law, Nancy, only stayed about half an hour and she was gone. She said to call if we needed anything and she would be back to visit. Where have I heard this before?? I am telling you, dear reader, I knew when she left I had a problem. She had left his medicine and the instructions for it. I discovered within two days why she didn’t want him. He was on heavy doses of Haldol which just drugged him up. It was hard to get him to do anything---even take a bath. He would take his medicine and then sit down and sleep. I did not want my people sleeping all the time. I never believed in drugging the folks just to keep everyone quiet. Larry wore depends and when he had an “accident” he would go in his room, take them off and hide the wet Depends in somebody’s drawer. This created all kinds of problems and he just didn’t seem to understand.
I called his doctor and we discussed the medicine. I told him I wanted the Hadol stopped and he agreed. Within three days you could see a huge change in Larry. He smiled all the time but he wanted to be in the kitchen with the aide. Sarah was a very pretty female and Larry just loved to be around her. She finally got him to understand there was a line in the floor and he had to stay on the other side. It was funny dear reader because all you had to do was point to the line and there was Larry with this big smile saying “I see the line”!
There was a day when Larry didn’t smile much. I had wanted new carpeting for quite some time and my dear friend, also named Larry, came to install the carpeting. Well dear reader, it was a total mess. I had tried to empty the rooms for him and everyone was very understanding except Larry. I had breakfast served on the outdoor patio and he was not going outdoors to eat!! So I fixed him a place inside. He started following my friend Larry around and was really getting in the way. Of course my friend never complained but I knew we had to do something. It was almost lunch time and Sarah came to work. She got the outside table ready and got Larry to help her. Than when everyone was outside eating (including Larry) I locked the doors so he couldn’t get it. Well, I am telling you this is the only time I ever saw him mad. He was really upset and angry so I let him in and we just tried to work around him. It took some doing and a lot of patience but we managed. I am telling you, dear reader, even Larry, the carpet man, was smiling!!! When it was all done Larry, my resident, said “I have to go take a nap now I am so tired of helping”!!!
When other people got visitors you could see Larry looking out the window and you knew he wanted to see his family. That was one of the sad times. In all the time Larry was with us, about 2 years, Nancy came to see him once a month. That was to pay his rent. . His son was “just so busy” but he sent his love!!! Than the day came Nancy said they were going to take Larry back home because he had no money left. It seems the family thought if they bought a house with his money they could all live together. I felt terrible about this and Larry didn’t understand why he had to leave. The other people really got upset and depressed because Larry was one of the family now. I heard from his doctor later that Nancy had him put back on Haldol and he was really in rough shape. He died within a year of leaving our home. The one thing I will always remember about Larry is the way his face would light up and the big smile whenever he saw Sarah!!!
It was later in the day when I got the urgent phone call about a DNR order. I will save this story for the next time gentle reader!!
Love Red
Thursday, May 1, 2008
WINDS of CHANGE
Believe it or not I heard the wind blowing. That meant a change was coming. I had no idea what a change it was bringing that night. I also noticed there was a full moon on this night. I know a lot of folks don’t believe in this but I am telling you when a full moon appears people with mental problems are really affected!!I I will give you credit, dear reader, I never believed it either until Bob came.
I had mentioned Bob before. He is the WW2 veteran who was a prisoner on the Burma Road death march. He was held prisoner and they cut the bottom of his feet so he couldn’t run. When he returned to the states after the war he was placed in the Veterans Hospital and he lived there for years. They determined his mental condition would not allow him to live independtly. He was diagnosed as a manic depressive schizophrenic. When he was in his 60’s he came to live with us. He was in the hospital and his sister called to see if I could take him. I went to pick him up and discovered I was really going to have my hands full. While riding in my car from the hospital he threatened to jump out of the car if I didn’t take him to see his attorney IMMEDIATELY!! He had his hand on the door handle and I knew he was serious. I got him quieted down by telling him the attorney was on vacation and would be back next week. That worked for a while. When we got home I showed him his room and he seemed happy. He wanted six glasses of water, lukewarm, placed on his dresser. I did this right away and this was a standard thing and no one was allowed to touch the. He kept this up until the day he died. I had placed a metal wardrobe in his room for clothes and he put everythiung he had away. He opened the doors on this so many times he drove Emily crazy. She had the room next to his. I said “Bob, why are you opening these doors all the time.” He said “I have to make sure no one takes my clothes”!! I said “No one will take anything while you’re here; Bob so please keep them closed”. He replied “ I don’t trust anyone but I will try to leave them alone”. It wasn’t five minutes later and you could hear him opening the doors!! I said, Bob, Your making too much noise and you need to stop this immediately”!! He said “I am not making any noise”!! That is when I realized he couldn’t hear well. The next day I took him to the Veterans Hospital in Albany and he was seen by a specialist. The Dr. cleaned his ears out and one of the first things he said was “Why are you talking so loud”?? When he got home he opened up the closet door to put his coat away and then said, very seriously, “Boy!! That is really noisy”!! He quieted down quite a bit after that. When Dr. Pitkin came to see him he explained about all the medicine Bob took and said how important it was for him to be on this. He was on Lithium and Thorazine. He didn’t like taking medicine but he would take it, sometimes very slowly. Then one day I noticed he was acting very differently. Not like him at all. No matter what anyone said he would argue and when he did it was “in your face” type with a voice slightly raised. I suspected he was off his medicine. I checked his room, closet, pockets and everyplace you could think of. I couldn’t find anything. Of course he wouldn’t let me search him so I figured out a plan.
I told him he had to go to the hospital for a checkup. He said Ok so he got in the car. I drove him to the Corinth Hospital where I knew Vic (PA) was working. I left Bob in the car and went in and told Vic what was going on. Then I brought Bob in. Vic told Bob to empty his pockets first. Bob did so immediately. One thing about Bob was he was afraid of authority and if told to do something he did. Guess what was in his pockets!!!!He had over 40 pills all mixed up. Vic said, Bob, what are all these pills for”? Bob said, She gives me them and I don’t think I need them so I put them away”. Vic said, very sternly, “Bob you have to take them every day or go back to the hospital”. Bob replied, raising his voice a little “I am never going back to the hospital to live”!!
Vic said, very calmly “Then you go home and take your medicine and we will forget about this”! When we got back home that evening I noticed the wind had died down to just a breeze!! Needless to say Bob started taking his medicine again and things started getting back to normal. I was never sure what normal was at our home but it sure was quiet for a while. There was a few times later over the years when he would quit taking his medicine but by then I could get him to the VA Hospital. They would put him in a “lock down” ward for thirty days and then start his medicine back up. I would always go get him of course.
Dear reader you will find this very interesting. Dr. Pitkin stopped at the house one day to show me an article he found in a magazine. Lithium was one of the main ingredients put in Cokes for many years in the 1920”s!! Do you think this had anything to do with the “Roaring Twenties”??? It really makes you smile when you think about it, gentle reader.
Speaking of smiling I remember Larry and ……..
Love Red
I had mentioned Bob before. He is the WW2 veteran who was a prisoner on the Burma Road death march. He was held prisoner and they cut the bottom of his feet so he couldn’t run. When he returned to the states after the war he was placed in the Veterans Hospital and he lived there for years. They determined his mental condition would not allow him to live independtly. He was diagnosed as a manic depressive schizophrenic. When he was in his 60’s he came to live with us. He was in the hospital and his sister called to see if I could take him. I went to pick him up and discovered I was really going to have my hands full. While riding in my car from the hospital he threatened to jump out of the car if I didn’t take him to see his attorney IMMEDIATELY!! He had his hand on the door handle and I knew he was serious. I got him quieted down by telling him the attorney was on vacation and would be back next week. That worked for a while. When we got home I showed him his room and he seemed happy. He wanted six glasses of water, lukewarm, placed on his dresser. I did this right away and this was a standard thing and no one was allowed to touch the. He kept this up until the day he died. I had placed a metal wardrobe in his room for clothes and he put everythiung he had away. He opened the doors on this so many times he drove Emily crazy. She had the room next to his. I said “Bob, why are you opening these doors all the time.” He said “I have to make sure no one takes my clothes”!! I said “No one will take anything while you’re here; Bob so please keep them closed”. He replied “ I don’t trust anyone but I will try to leave them alone”. It wasn’t five minutes later and you could hear him opening the doors!! I said, Bob, Your making too much noise and you need to stop this immediately”!! He said “I am not making any noise”!! That is when I realized he couldn’t hear well. The next day I took him to the Veterans Hospital in Albany and he was seen by a specialist. The Dr. cleaned his ears out and one of the first things he said was “Why are you talking so loud”?? When he got home he opened up the closet door to put his coat away and then said, very seriously, “Boy!! That is really noisy”!! He quieted down quite a bit after that. When Dr. Pitkin came to see him he explained about all the medicine Bob took and said how important it was for him to be on this. He was on Lithium and Thorazine. He didn’t like taking medicine but he would take it, sometimes very slowly. Then one day I noticed he was acting very differently. Not like him at all. No matter what anyone said he would argue and when he did it was “in your face” type with a voice slightly raised. I suspected he was off his medicine. I checked his room, closet, pockets and everyplace you could think of. I couldn’t find anything. Of course he wouldn’t let me search him so I figured out a plan.
I told him he had to go to the hospital for a checkup. He said Ok so he got in the car. I drove him to the Corinth Hospital where I knew Vic (PA) was working. I left Bob in the car and went in and told Vic what was going on. Then I brought Bob in. Vic told Bob to empty his pockets first. Bob did so immediately. One thing about Bob was he was afraid of authority and if told to do something he did. Guess what was in his pockets!!!!He had over 40 pills all mixed up. Vic said, Bob, what are all these pills for”? Bob said, She gives me them and I don’t think I need them so I put them away”. Vic said, very sternly, “Bob you have to take them every day or go back to the hospital”. Bob replied, raising his voice a little “I am never going back to the hospital to live”!!
Vic said, very calmly “Then you go home and take your medicine and we will forget about this”! When we got back home that evening I noticed the wind had died down to just a breeze!! Needless to say Bob started taking his medicine again and things started getting back to normal. I was never sure what normal was at our home but it sure was quiet for a while. There was a few times later over the years when he would quit taking his medicine but by then I could get him to the VA Hospital. They would put him in a “lock down” ward for thirty days and then start his medicine back up. I would always go get him of course.
Dear reader you will find this very interesting. Dr. Pitkin stopped at the house one day to show me an article he found in a magazine. Lithium was one of the main ingredients put in Cokes for many years in the 1920”s!! Do you think this had anything to do with the “Roaring Twenties”??? It really makes you smile when you think about it, gentle reader.
Speaking of smiling I remember Larry and ……..
Love Red
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)