I am so glad to have the holidays over!! I miss the time I spent with my people and the fun and the laughter. Everything always seemed so beautiful and we always watched for the snow. The biggest treat for my people was if a deer happened to walk by the big window. That was the ultimate enjoyment.
The only time it seemed to get hectic was when I would get a call on Fridays about 4:30 and some one would say " I need a bed for a "little old lady"!! I wonder where that phrase came from. It was never for a old woman , large female, old man but a " little old lady! When the call came on Fridays at 4:30 it was always the Department of Adult Protective Services and they knew the answer before they called. Of course we always made room.
This was for a lady, Anna, who needed a place for some rest and peace. Her family was really giving her a hard time. The family was well known in this area and it seemed each daughter (3) and son (1) wanted power of attorney. Than there was the question of who was getting what!! I never seen so much arguing. They woul;d come to visit their Mother one by one and it was always the same. It got to the point where the family was asking my employees who said what to their Mother when they weren't here!!Of course everyone was upset because it bothered them to see such actions from a family. Anna had severe rheumatoid arthritis and a colostomy so she was not in great health. I finally suggested she hire an attorney and stop all the arguing. It took some talking but she finally did and what a relief for us. She told her children she had given power of attorney to a lawyer and made out a will. You would have thought the world had stopped to hear them. After that they didn't come to see her much more. She had a stroke and ended up in a nursing home. I always said I hoped she lived long enough for the nursing home to take all her money.
I saw so much of this over the years, dear reader, and it was always so sad.
I remember telling my Mother to spend her money because she sure earned it. Just raising me was hard enough (:>)!!! but there were seven others in the family.
Mom also took care of my Grandparents for three years and than went to college! My Father was so shocked when she said she was going to college at the age of 50. He couldn't believe she would do that--it wasn't what you did back than. Mom went anyway and when she graduated you would have thought it was his idea !! Than she taught school for ten years so she deserved to have anything she wanted.
I must close dear friend, but I will post more in a couple of days. I want to take time to wish everyone
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Love to all Red
Monday, December 31, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
Smoking or No Smoking
I was asked recently what my rules were for smoking in my home. . I am sorry to say I smoked also and it was easy for rules with me. You had to go out doors for a cigarette and I was surprised that anyone would. I was a heavy smoker—up to 4 packs a day!!! Now I wonder how I managed but it just seemed like I lit one and put it down and than another. Dr. Pitkin tried many times to get me to quit but I was not to smart. I thought I could escape the bad effects. That thought stayed with me for many years and than my husband died. He did not have lung cancer so I still thought I was OK. Than my second husband died and this was from lung cancer!! Now I am getting worried and the final blow was when my sister dies from lung cancer.
I decided I better do something because this was serious. I was diagnosed as COPD. I knew now I had to quit but nothing seemed to work Than I discovered the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. I called and they got me in for the eight day program. This is easy to do—all you need to do is look up Mayo Clinic Rochester Minnesota and look for the NICOTINE DEPENDENCE CENTER. This is a remarkable place. You only stay for 8 days ( a lot of insurance programs pay for this ) and when you are out eight days later your smoke free!! I am happy to say I have never smoked again. I can't believe it only took 8 days to quit when I tried for many years!!! My big regret is I didn't quit sooner.
I had a lady who had lung cancer and was on oxygen 24 hours . She was so nice but so sick, weighed about 90 pounds. It was very hard for her to even walk to the table to eat let alone go to the bathroom. She just loved living in my home-thought this was just the cats meow!! Than one day the great STATE OF NEW YORK decided I could not have people on oxygen. It seems you had to be a nurse to set the dial on the oxygen machine. It didn't matter that I had been in business for 20 years they knew more than me. Of course I had many folks on oxygen, dear reader, over the years. The thing that made this so bad was she wanted to stay in my home for her last days. I made a phone call and asked if someone could let me know when the state was going to do an inspection. The person agreed so I waited. Sure enough one morning I got a phone call and all the person said was “Today is it”. There was no name or anything. So we waited. I had told Lucy what was going on and she knew she would lose her oxygen for about 10 minutes. It wasn't long and the inspector arrived. When they came in we introduced everyone and they went to check on the bedrooms. As soon as they came out of the bedroom Lucy said she needed to go to the bathroom. We were lucky because I had four bathrooms. Lucy goes in the bathroom and yells out she is going to take a shower. I said that was ok to go right ahead. I asked her if she needed help and she said “No”!! About 5 minutes later the inspector left and we rescued Lucy from the bathroom where she set with her oxygen on and the water just running. She had the biggest smile on you ever saw!!! We had put the oxygen machine in the tub and draped the shower curtain over it. It worked. Lucy lived about three more months and died in her sleep but I know she was happy to be where she was loved. Lucy was a person who only had her Social Security and there were not many places you could live on that but she was one of "My People" so she stayed. I always tried to cooperate with the state but I dealt with people not rules. If I complied with their rules many people would not have been with me, dear reader, but I will save that story for another time.....
Love to all Red
I decided I better do something because this was serious. I was diagnosed as COPD. I knew now I had to quit but nothing seemed to work Than I discovered the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. I called and they got me in for the eight day program. This is easy to do—all you need to do is look up Mayo Clinic Rochester Minnesota and look for the NICOTINE DEPENDENCE CENTER. This is a remarkable place. You only stay for 8 days ( a lot of insurance programs pay for this ) and when you are out eight days later your smoke free!! I am happy to say I have never smoked again. I can't believe it only took 8 days to quit when I tried for many years!!! My big regret is I didn't quit sooner.
I had a lady who had lung cancer and was on oxygen 24 hours . She was so nice but so sick, weighed about 90 pounds. It was very hard for her to even walk to the table to eat let alone go to the bathroom. She just loved living in my home-thought this was just the cats meow!! Than one day the great STATE OF NEW YORK decided I could not have people on oxygen. It seems you had to be a nurse to set the dial on the oxygen machine. It didn't matter that I had been in business for 20 years they knew more than me. Of course I had many folks on oxygen, dear reader, over the years. The thing that made this so bad was she wanted to stay in my home for her last days. I made a phone call and asked if someone could let me know when the state was going to do an inspection. The person agreed so I waited. Sure enough one morning I got a phone call and all the person said was “Today is it”. There was no name or anything. So we waited. I had told Lucy what was going on and she knew she would lose her oxygen for about 10 minutes. It wasn't long and the inspector arrived. When they came in we introduced everyone and they went to check on the bedrooms. As soon as they came out of the bedroom Lucy said she needed to go to the bathroom. We were lucky because I had four bathrooms. Lucy goes in the bathroom and yells out she is going to take a shower. I said that was ok to go right ahead. I asked her if she needed help and she said “No”!! About 5 minutes later the inspector left and we rescued Lucy from the bathroom where she set with her oxygen on and the water just running. She had the biggest smile on you ever saw!!! We had put the oxygen machine in the tub and draped the shower curtain over it. It worked. Lucy lived about three more months and died in her sleep but I know she was happy to be where she was loved. Lucy was a person who only had her Social Security and there were not many places you could live on that but she was one of "My People" so she stayed. I always tried to cooperate with the state but I dealt with people not rules. If I complied with their rules many people would not have been with me, dear reader, but I will save that story for another time.....
Love to all Red
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Elderly Wearing Make-up
I realize I haven't posted anything for a while and I am sorry for the delay. I took a few days off for my daughters wedding and than eye surgery. My daughters wedding was just lovely even if the piano player didn't show because we had a storm. Imagine that!!!! The only terrible part of the wedding was the fact that the bakery where she ordered the cake forgot to make it!! I do not understand how this happened but the Hotel came through with a small cake. This will be a story for her to tell for a long time but it could have been worse.... she could have been stood up!! They managed to get married and leave on a cruise before the big snow storm hit so it ended nicely.
I had eye surgery the next morning to correct a drooping eye lid. I asked the Doctor if he could fix my whole body but he declined. I really droop in places (:>)!! I figure all the marks and wrinkles have a story of their own and why ruin this piece of art by looking beautiful??? I remember one time when I had Fran Williams, a dear friend, do my make-up. She worked very hard and it took quite a while. I must confess I really did look great. When I went to pick up my grandchildren they didn't know me so that was the end of make-up. I just go with what I have and smile a lot.
It is rather ironic as we get older we do not worry so much about that. With my people I could count on my hand the number of ladies who still put on make-up.
There was a lady called Mary, who was about 84 when she came to my home. She had fallen in her home and broke her wrist and when someone finally checked on her it had healed quite crooked. Mary was about 5'4” and very pretty for her age. She had been a blond but now was a silver color and from her pictures you could tell she was really a beautiful lady. Mary was very cheerful, always laughing and really enjoyed telling stories.I asked her once why she never married and she said “If you get married you only get one fur coat and I have three!!” She had worked as a waitress in many classy places in Saratoga and at one time had waited on Sophia Tucker. Sophia gave Mary 3 $1.00 bills which she signed and told Mary someday they would be worth money. Mary still had them when she came to live in my home. I remember when Mary told us how her father was a boot-legger. He had a garage with doors on both ends. When he came home he put the car in the garage than later in the evening he “loaded” it and drove out the other end. During the day he repaired shoes!! She remembered going to the Lakehouse with her boyfriend and Al Capone's bodyguards sat on the roof with guns. When Mary was telling stories everyone was listening. They forgot all their problems just listening to Mary.
It was always interesting how my people would look out for each other. I will write more about Mary later because she gave so much if herself to all who knew her.
I know blogs are supposed to be short but it is hard to write short stories about some people, dear readers, so please let me know if they are too long....
Love Red
I had eye surgery the next morning to correct a drooping eye lid. I asked the Doctor if he could fix my whole body but he declined. I really droop in places (:>)!! I figure all the marks and wrinkles have a story of their own and why ruin this piece of art by looking beautiful??? I remember one time when I had Fran Williams, a dear friend, do my make-up. She worked very hard and it took quite a while. I must confess I really did look great. When I went to pick up my grandchildren they didn't know me so that was the end of make-up. I just go with what I have and smile a lot.
It is rather ironic as we get older we do not worry so much about that. With my people I could count on my hand the number of ladies who still put on make-up.
There was a lady called Mary, who was about 84 when she came to my home. She had fallen in her home and broke her wrist and when someone finally checked on her it had healed quite crooked. Mary was about 5'4” and very pretty for her age. She had been a blond but now was a silver color and from her pictures you could tell she was really a beautiful lady. Mary was very cheerful, always laughing and really enjoyed telling stories.I asked her once why she never married and she said “If you get married you only get one fur coat and I have three!!” She had worked as a waitress in many classy places in Saratoga and at one time had waited on Sophia Tucker. Sophia gave Mary 3 $1.00 bills which she signed and told Mary someday they would be worth money. Mary still had them when she came to live in my home. I remember when Mary told us how her father was a boot-legger. He had a garage with doors on both ends. When he came home he put the car in the garage than later in the evening he “loaded” it and drove out the other end. During the day he repaired shoes!! She remembered going to the Lakehouse with her boyfriend and Al Capone's bodyguards sat on the roof with guns. When Mary was telling stories everyone was listening. They forgot all their problems just listening to Mary.
It was always interesting how my people would look out for each other. I will write more about Mary later because she gave so much if herself to all who knew her.
I know blogs are supposed to be short but it is hard to write short stories about some people, dear readers, so please let me know if they are too long....
Love Red
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Gifts for the Elderly
I read an article the other day about gifts for the elderly. It seems like everyone has an idea on this subject but what I find interesting is no one asks them what they like. They want COMPANY!!!!They love having visitors stop. You don't have to spend the day,dear reader, but try for half an hour. What is thirty minutes of your time?? They have all day to kill time and 24 hours can feel like forever when someone has a visitor and you have none! To sit and chat about the neighbors or kids and if your stuck for conversation just ask a question about their past. The elderly love to talk about the time gone by ( I know I am one also) but make them feel like you care. You hear and read that the best thing you can do is send magazines or buy stationary and stamped envelopes. Do you realize most of them have a hard time writing ? I know they like reading but this is what they do when no one visits. You could volunteer to take them for a ride to see decorations.
My people could not get enough of decorating—even went so far as to decorate the bathroom.
One thing I should mention is do not bring food without checking first.
I had one gentleman who would “steal” anything he could to eat and he was a diabetic.
I discovered this by accident and it was very ingenious the way he pulled it off. When my people sat down to eat it was always as a family. Everyone came to the table, we had a prayer and than they would eat. I had taken in an extra person ( what else is new) so there was not enough room for me to sit with them. I was keeping up light conversation and Harold asked for a slice of bread. I reminded him he was to only eat one slice per meal and he said I didn't get any. I was sure he had but gave him one and figured I had goofed up. I could do that a lot when we were busy. I was standing by the table and saw Pete( who sat next to Harold) very slowly edge his hand under the edge of the table and reach the bread and pull it right off the plate!!! I told him to stop and he said he was so hungry he just had to take food. Pete was about 6'2” and probably weighed 200 so he had no problem but wanted FOOD!!!!
He wasn't the only one who could do this. I had a lady named Anita who would take anything food or otherwise and hide it in her room. We were always checking her dresser for what ever was missing.
When I called the Emergency Squad one time my sister ,Esther, ran to help me with the lady who had fallen. On the way she put her glasses on the table. After everyone left we could not find Esther's glasses. We went through everything , all the rooms, asked the people but to no avail.
That night when I leaned over to give Anita a kiss goodnight I felt this object in her pillowcase and guess what glasses!!! She said someone must have put them there because she wouldn't do that-------
Love to all, Red
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
The Sprit of Giving
I know it is always better to give than to receive but it really hit home with"my people". The residents in my home were not called residents when I started this . They were and always will be "my people". This was my family and I treated them like family. We laughed together and of course there were times when we cried together.
When holidays came it was very hard on the ones who did not have any relatives or friends calling on them or sending cards. You cannot imagine, dear reader, how important those cards were to them. It meant someone cared where they were and missed them. To not receive a card would be very hard, but I had an answer for that. The Department of Adult Services in my area always came through if I called with a problem. Someone would come calling on my people and they always brought more gifts than we needed. Of course Sister Lauren from Catholic Family Services would drop by with more gifts. Than came the other churches and there would be so much for these beautiful people. The churches also sent the Youth Choir to sing and I always cried at the beauty of this. They would take "requests" from the folks and it was just unbelievably beautiful. There were times when someone would get depressed and I had a great answer for them. I would tell them if they wanted to cry we would all get together next Tuesday at the table with a box of Kleenex and just cry. I said I didn't have time today because I would have red eyes to match my hair and that wasn't good. It always seemed to work.
There was one person who came to visit her father-in-law and she brought two children with her. I said ti the children " I bet your waiting for Santa to come" and the lady got so mad!!!! She informed me that she never lied to her children and they knew better than to believe in such stupidity!!. I was really shocked but said I was sorry but we believed in Santa and that was the end of the conversation. After she left her father-in-law said he was sorry she was rude but that he hoped Santa would find him!!. I gave him a big hug and said I was sure he would and of course he did.!!!
One of the things my people enjoyed a lot was decorating. Some would hang things and others supervised. When it came to the tree they all managed to help in one way or another. One year we had decorated the tree and it was so beautiful with all the trim and lights. One lady, who used a walker, was walking past the tree on her way to the dinner table, lost her balance and fell on the tree!! I must tell you, dear reader, that I laughed so hard----she was not hurt --but if you can imagine this lady who was 5'7" weighed about 200 , on the floor with part of the tree, with the lights still on, on her you would laugh also.
On Christmas morning ,while having breakfast, it was always mentioned who heard the noises on the roof last night, or who was peeking!! These people were just like kids and I loved all of it.
I do hope someone enjoys this because it is so nice to share my memories of all the years gone by-------
Love, Red
When holidays came it was very hard on the ones who did not have any relatives or friends calling on them or sending cards. You cannot imagine, dear reader, how important those cards were to them. It meant someone cared where they were and missed them. To not receive a card would be very hard, but I had an answer for that. The Department of Adult Services in my area always came through if I called with a problem. Someone would come calling on my people and they always brought more gifts than we needed. Of course Sister Lauren from Catholic Family Services would drop by with more gifts. Than came the other churches and there would be so much for these beautiful people. The churches also sent the Youth Choir to sing and I always cried at the beauty of this. They would take "requests" from the folks and it was just unbelievably beautiful. There were times when someone would get depressed and I had a great answer for them. I would tell them if they wanted to cry we would all get together next Tuesday at the table with a box of Kleenex and just cry. I said I didn't have time today because I would have red eyes to match my hair and that wasn't good. It always seemed to work.
There was one person who came to visit her father-in-law and she brought two children with her. I said ti the children " I bet your waiting for Santa to come" and the lady got so mad!!!! She informed me that she never lied to her children and they knew better than to believe in such stupidity!!. I was really shocked but said I was sorry but we believed in Santa and that was the end of the conversation. After she left her father-in-law said he was sorry she was rude but that he hoped Santa would find him!!. I gave him a big hug and said I was sure he would and of course he did.!!!
One of the things my people enjoyed a lot was decorating. Some would hang things and others supervised. When it came to the tree they all managed to help in one way or another. One year we had decorated the tree and it was so beautiful with all the trim and lights. One lady, who used a walker, was walking past the tree on her way to the dinner table, lost her balance and fell on the tree!! I must tell you, dear reader, that I laughed so hard----she was not hurt --but if you can imagine this lady who was 5'7" weighed about 200 , on the floor with part of the tree, with the lights still on, on her you would laugh also.
On Christmas morning ,while having breakfast, it was always mentioned who heard the noises on the roof last night, or who was peeking!! These people were just like kids and I loved all of it.
I do hope someone enjoys this because it is so nice to share my memories of all the years gone by-------
Love, Red
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
The day before Christmas
The day before Christmas I was thinking back to when I got a phone call on the day before Christmas. . I had only been in business of caring for the elderly for 18 months but word spread fast and I had 7 residents by now. I had only planned to have 5 but here is another rule . I made a Golden Rule that I would never turn anyone away weather they could pay or not. That story is for another time, dear reader.When I answered the phone it was Sister Lauren, with the Catholic Family Community Services,and she was looking for a bed!! Surprise! Surprise! She was at the Saratoga Hospital and was trying to find a place for an 88 year old woman . The lady had been beaten and raped and than managed to crawl, in the snow and cold, two blocks for help. The people called 911 and she was taken to the hospital. The Dr.'s said she needed to go to a facility for permanent care. She had been living in a shack with dirt floors and depending on "friends" for help. These so called friends would charge her $5.00 for a loaf of bread so she really was in a terrible situation. Her husband had died when he was 28 from a heart attack and she never re-married. She had her Veterans Pension & Social Security which amounted to about $450.00 a month.When Sister Lauren asked if I had an extra bed I said of course. Do you think I could say no on Christmas Eve? I am not sure how I done it but she brought Verna to my house. Verna was a tiny lady about 4'10" and probably weighed 90 pounds. When she came into the house she was so shocked because she had never been in a house with floors let alone carpets. She just glowed like a child looking at the decorations. It made everyone happy just to watch her. When we got her ready for her bath she was so scared. It seems she had never seen a tub or shower before so it was interesting. She had a nice warm bath and had her hair washed. IT was so long but I managed to wash and dry it. The drier really fascinated her!! I noticed she was getting very upset and I asked her what was wrong. She said she was afraid I would send her back to where she had been living in the morning. I reassured her she would always be with me. The next morning when the residents had finished breakfast we gathered in the living room for the opening of the gifts. When I handed her a gift she just cried. It seems she had not received anything in years and could not understand how there was a gift for her there. I told her I knew she was going to receive gifts because I had caught a glimpse of Santa just as he was leaving!! That was one of many happy Christmas's we had at Miner's Home for the Elderly.
Love to all, Red
Delete
Edit
Delete
1 – 3 of 3
Love to all, Red
Delete
Edit
Delete
1 – 3 of 3
Monday, November 26, 2007
Freedom for the Elderly
The day has finally arrived!!
I have reached the point where I am not only a caregiver for the elderly ---I am also one of the elderly. I feel like they look at me and are thinking " How can she take care of me when she is also elderly"??
How do you know when your elderly? When your 60-70 can't see good or hear good?? This is a label like now your a senior citizen ;over the hill and more!!
I found out I was elderly when I broke my tailbone and when 911 was called it was " an elderly lady has fallen!!!!" I guess I graduated.
I got involved in this venture many years ago when I started a Home for the Elderly. Many people say they could never stand this type of work but to me it is not a job.You need a sense of humor and know how to laugh because that can get you through almost anything.
One of my Golden Rules was NEVER let anyone know you don't know what is wrong!! No matter what the problem is you learn how to "wing it", as the Dr Pitkin was always saying.
If a resident said "I really don't feel good today" You would always say " I wasn't feeling good earlier but now I have had breakfast I feel better!" The goal was to get their mind on something else.
I had one resident who had a very bad compulsive dis-order and she wanted to wash her hands constantly. The Dr. finally got her on some medicine that made her stop but it took a while. She was always sitting in a rocking chair, looking out the window and keeping her eye on the bathroom door. This was to make sure when she wanted to wash her hands the sink would be available!
One day I got another resident in and it got very interesting. He was a little man ( about 5'3" and he happened to pick a rocking chair next to Emma. Those two would sit and rock and discuss their lives for hours. Neither one of them liked TV so they just seemed to go together. I thought this was great because Emma had a rough life and was really a very lonely lady.
When Emma's family brought her to me they never told her she was going to be living there. They brought her in and told her she had been invited for lunch and they started to leave and she grabbed her coat. They told her she was staying and walked out-- just like that. She was crying so hard and begging me to help--- it was so hard on everyone. I finally got her quiet and talked and talked to her . She adjusted but it was so hard. They only came to visit her twice in four years so I was happy she found a friend.
One morning , as I was fixing breakfast for the residents I was listening to them talk when all at once Emma said, " Ed would you marry me?" I stopped what I was doing because I got a terrible feeling that he would say the wrong thing. He was a perfect gentleman through this. He rocked a few times and said ,very nicely, " Emma , it is so nice of you to ask but I promised my wife I would never marry again". Emma kind of sighed and said "OK". I never let on I heard but we gave Emma extra nice compliments for a long time.
I remember one resident quite clearly. Her name was Sarah and she loved cats. I even broke one of my rules buy allowing her to have a kitten in her room. Sarah was in her 80's and had a very bad heart. We really had to watch her closely because she was also on oxygen 24 hours a day. She demanded attention all the time but we were able to work with her very easily but talking about the cat. She fell in love with the Dr. who made house calls. If she knew he was coming she jumped off the bed, scurried to the bathroom and proceeded to wash herself. Than she would put on a pair of baby doll pajama's dab on the perfume and wait until she heard him in the house. At this point she would "recline" on her bed in what she thought was a seductive pose. The Dr. knew this and was always very nice to her. One day as he was checking her heart she said" How many children do you have?" He replied, "I have five children". It got very quiet and than she said" You better keep your pants zipped from now on ". I was so embarrassed but he took it stride and finished checking her out and left. She lived with me for about two years and died. When they read her will she had left everything she had to Cornell University for cat research!. I guess she got the last meow!!
Will try to post more next week.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)