BEING A PROFESSIONAL CAREGIVER

I must say I am sorry to be so long in posting a blog. I have been so busy with my job that it just took all my time. I am caring for a lady who has been sent to the hospital to be prepared for dialysis. This is so hard to see. She made the choice and the family has always tried to respect their parents wishes. It is always so great to be involved with a family that cares for their parents.
This is what is so very very hard at being a caretaker. I love my “patients” dearly. I was told many times,over the years, to be “professional” about this but I never could figure out how you did that. No matter what you do for the people they are always so grateful and just to put a smile on their face makes my day. After all--- what do they have in life. They are not going out to dinner, shopping, to the movies, or visiting friends. They are dependent on their families and friends for everything. If they become a little “short” with the person trying to care for them so what???? they need someone to listen at times and this is part of our job. I gave many hugs to people over time. I never heard anyone complain and most of the time I got one back. When anyone got depressed and wanted to cry I had the answer-- I always said if we are going to cry I will get a box of Kleenex and next Tuesday we will sit at the table and just cry. This always worked and later someone would say thank you for being there and listening!!
When I was young---yes I was once----(:>) my Mother & my sister, Joy, worked in a Nursing Home. I guess this is where I got some of the education about old people. Way back in the 50's you put your folks in a nursing home and that was that. My Mother always felt sorry for them—like they were deserted or just left to die.
One of the saddest memories was of my sister, Susie. Susie got Multiple Sclerosis when she was 30. She had 5 small children at that time and it was so terrible . She was put in a nursing home because it was so bad she couldn't walk and very slowly the disease took over her whole body. Life in a nursing home was not easy. So many of her personal things were stolen or ” borrowed” by others. Her perfumes , clothing, any gifts we sent were gone and no one seemed to care or know what happened to them. I sent her a large floral arrangement one year at Christmas. I live in NY & she was in Indiana. I specified that there was to be a lot of miniature animals on this because she loved that. Christmas morning when my sister,Joy, called I asked how Sue liked her flowers. She said “ What Flowers”?? I called the nursing home and it got very interesting. First they said they had no idea what I was talking about. I won't go through all the conversations but the end result was I told the lady on the phone the flower arrangement better be back in her room by morning and if it wasn't back I would call the Police Department. Surprise!!!Surprise!! It was there by evening!! How can people steal from helpless people?? She couldn't even yell for help if necessary.
Sue was a very religious person and she developed a “friendship” with a “healer”. This healer had Sue believing she would be healed if she went to a revival meeting in Chicago. Some of the nurses got together and took her there. This was not easy because it was a four hour drive from the nursing home to get there. Sue would do anything to get better. When Sue finally got there and the “healer” placed her hands on her absolutely nothing happened!! This was just devastating to her. Sue had been so sure she would be cured. These people had done a terrible thing to her with their lies and promises. She thought God had deserted her and it was horrible. It took a long time but she finally found God again and she started to gain interest in things. To watch her over the years was so hard. She loved her kids but it was at the point where she could no longer even talk to them.
She developed pneumonia and went to the hospital. I flew home and she was hooked up to so many machines. We asked to have them stopped but it was unheard of. She just wanted to die. The only way to communicate was for her to blink her eyes. One blink was yes and two was no. Sometimes she blinked three times and would smile!! She was finally sent back to the nursing home and she died in her sleep. I said than no one in my family would ever be placed in a nursing home and since than no one has.
I know there are great nursing homes now but I prefer to take care of my family while I can.
No one knows how long they have. I am happy when I wake up on the right side of the grass---like the man said, “There is no sign hanging off your toe that reads “EXPIRES ON_______!!!!s So enjoy life ......until the next time........
Love Red