It was a very cold and snowy day when Agnes came to my home. She was the fourth person to live with us. Agnes arrived with two suitcases and a couple of bags. She was a tall lady, little on the heavy side with long (I mean long) hair. She was dressed very classy in a suit consisting of skirt, blouse, and jacket. On her feet were stockings and a pair of low heeled pumps. . She also had on a pair of white gloves. Her Doctor had called me looking for a place for her. She had the beginning of dementia and could no longer live alone. She was talking as she came in and she never stopped. Every day she was dressed about the same. In the evening she wanted to wear long negligee but I finally convinced her was not a good idea with men around. Agnes had an answer for everything that went through the house. She had the cure for anything and everything. You could always get a good laugh at some of them; but she meant well. One thing about Agnes that got your attention was her illness. If you had a headache she got one immediately. If you’re back hurt, gentle reader, so did hers. If someone had a pain in their foot you know she did too. The Dr had told me she was a hypochondriac so I was prepared. She was on medicine for high blood pressure and for her heart. Agnes had a “sugar” pill. If she complained too much I would tell her I was going to have to get her a pain pill and she was so happy. When she took this capsule, which was just sugar her pain went away. She was a firm believer in the pill so this really worked out great for me. Agnes always set in a rocking chair filing her finger nails. It seemed like the more she talked the faster she would rock.
Her hair was a huge problem. She couldn’t brush it herself so I did the best I could. She couldn’t stand any heavy brushing and it was a job. I tried to get her to cut her hair but she refused any mention of this. I swear, dear reader, it was almost to her knees. She said she had not had it cut in fifty years and I believed her.
It was early spring when a thunderstorm developed. It was really a severe storm and the weatherman said it would last several hours. There was a lot of thunder and lighting. The folks always got together in the living room. It seemed to make everyone more comfortable to be with each other. The lights had blinked off and on a couple of times and then we lost power. You could literally hear a pin drop. I called Niagara Mohawk and they said power would be off for several hours.
I went into the living room and said very calmly “Everyone has to go to bed. The power will be off but I will be right here.” I figured if they were in bed it was easier to keep them quiet and no one was walking around in the dark. It took a while but I got the folks into their bed except Agnes. She said she just couldn’t go to bed she was in too much pain. I knew of course, gentle reader, she was fine but I said “Agnes, if you will go to bed I will get your special pill for you”! She rocked a few times and then said “Ok and than if you will plug in my electric blanket and turn it up I will go to bed”! Of course you know what I did… I gave her special pill and put her to bed. I than “fooled around” plugging in the blanket and she said “That feels so nice and warm and went to sleep. The power came back on about midnight but no one woke up. The next morning, dear reader, Agnes mentioned how well she slept with the blanket turned up on high!!
One of the best things I ever did in this home was to have an elevator installed. It was quite a job and we really had some interesting happen when people got on and forgot how to get off.
One of the funniest was when Agnes got on the elevator and started yelling for help. She was between floors and wanted to get off so she opened the door. This elevator had a “fail safe” feature and if the door opened it stopped wherever it was. It is hard to explain but there were two doors so she couldn’t get hurt. It took a long time to get her to shut the door so we could get her out. Of course as soon as she was out she got all the attention and she just lapped it right up. You would almost think, dear reader, she had thought of it herself.
To think, gentle reader, this was just the beginning of a long journey. Check in later for the next installment of life in the Miner Home…..
Love Red
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
WEDDING DRESSES
“You know, Violet you would look better in my dress”!! I look in the room and there is Violet, with just a slip on and Mary sitting on her bed smiling. Mary says, very happily, “I am helping Violet with a dress for her wedding”!! I said, “I didn’t know Violet was getting married”! Violet speaks up and says” OH!! It is a surprise and no one is supposed to know”. I said “Who is the lucky man?” Than Violet told me how she met him many years ago at the church. She told me how he always liked her and told her someday he would marry her. Now, gentle reader, you must realize, Violet was not the brightest person but she believed in people. She wanted to make sure she looked ok if he should come to visit. Violet had been waiting years for this but to her it was like yesterday. Her face lit up talking about him and she just looked so very happy! It just made me love her all the more. ):>)!! Mary and Violet spent many days just trying on each other’s clothes. It was a big joke to some but I always smile when I remember those two.
They were as different as night and day. I had written about Mary before. She is the lady who was just beautiful for her age and had never married. Violet had never married either but her Father was a minister and she was raised mostly by him. She was very shy around people but after she was with us for a while she was ok with everyone. She just truly believed he was going to arrive.
It was a lot different for Helen and Francis. These two shared a room. I never really had a problem with two women sharing a room but, gentle reader, this was really different. They both wore the same size clothing and Helen was always putting on Francis’s slacks. The first thing you heard was “Helen, you have my slacks on”! Helen replied “No I don’t. I looked and the tag says their mine”. Francis would say,” I want to see”. Helen would show her the tag and ninety percent of the time it was Francis’s pants. Francis wanted her to change immediately and someone had to go with her because by the time she got them off she would forget and put them right back on. When people are diagnosed with dementia it was hard. Some folks were not too bad but others were really a sad case. You just have to have world of patience with them. I think this is where the saying ” patience is a virtue” comes in.
When it came to men sharing a room it could really get interesting. You would never believe how bashful they were with each other. It seemed like one would go to bed early and the other would stay up watching TV. Than when he would go to bed you would hear “Shut the light off I am sleeping”!! I didn’t allow smoking in the house and sure enough one would want to go out for a cigarette. Than it was “I hate the smell of smoke”!!You need to take a bath.””Can someone spray something to get rid of the smell”?
I am sure, gentle reader; you understand how different it was.
I had folks with Dementia, Alzheimer’s, Cancer, Parkinson and many others. They would treat each other with a lot of respect but sometimes they could get angry. There is a huge difference between Dementia and Alzheimer’s. Folks who had Dementia were usually very easy to get to do things. They could sit and watch TV or look at a magazine but with Alzheimer’s it was a whole new ballgame. They normally paced a lot and ask the same thing. When you had to answer the same question 30 or 40 times a day you were glad when your shift was over. I was lucky with the ones I had.
I did have one Alzheimer’s person who really put me thru my paces!!
That is a story for the next time, gentle reader, and so check back in a few days…..
Love, Red
They were as different as night and day. I had written about Mary before. She is the lady who was just beautiful for her age and had never married. Violet had never married either but her Father was a minister and she was raised mostly by him. She was very shy around people but after she was with us for a while she was ok with everyone. She just truly believed he was going to arrive.
It was a lot different for Helen and Francis. These two shared a room. I never really had a problem with two women sharing a room but, gentle reader, this was really different. They both wore the same size clothing and Helen was always putting on Francis’s slacks. The first thing you heard was “Helen, you have my slacks on”! Helen replied “No I don’t. I looked and the tag says their mine”. Francis would say,” I want to see”. Helen would show her the tag and ninety percent of the time it was Francis’s pants. Francis wanted her to change immediately and someone had to go with her because by the time she got them off she would forget and put them right back on. When people are diagnosed with dementia it was hard. Some folks were not too bad but others were really a sad case. You just have to have world of patience with them. I think this is where the saying ” patience is a virtue” comes in.
When it came to men sharing a room it could really get interesting. You would never believe how bashful they were with each other. It seemed like one would go to bed early and the other would stay up watching TV. Than when he would go to bed you would hear “Shut the light off I am sleeping”!! I didn’t allow smoking in the house and sure enough one would want to go out for a cigarette. Than it was “I hate the smell of smoke”!!You need to take a bath.””Can someone spray something to get rid of the smell”?
I am sure, gentle reader; you understand how different it was.
I had folks with Dementia, Alzheimer’s, Cancer, Parkinson and many others. They would treat each other with a lot of respect but sometimes they could get angry. There is a huge difference between Dementia and Alzheimer’s. Folks who had Dementia were usually very easy to get to do things. They could sit and watch TV or look at a magazine but with Alzheimer’s it was a whole new ballgame. They normally paced a lot and ask the same thing. When you had to answer the same question 30 or 40 times a day you were glad when your shift was over. I was lucky with the ones I had.
I did have one Alzheimer’s person who really put me thru my paces!!
That is a story for the next time, gentle reader, and so check back in a few days…..
Love, Red
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
My sister, Esther, had worked for me for a long time. She only had one bad habit. She was always leaving the keys in her car. My place was back off the road but you never knew what could happen. I told her not to leave the keys in the car but she reminded me that my husband always moved the car. This was true. He would turn her car around so it was easier for her to leave. She really appreciated that when it snowed!!
Jim had been with us about six months. He was a recovering alcoholic and he walked a lot. His daughter came to visit him quite regularly and he was always asking for his car. Her answer was always the same. “Your car is in the garage being repaired”. He would say “Okay but let me know when I can have it”.
One day I was in the living room talking to Pat when Jim came walking in. He was so happy!! He was holding a key ring in his hand and he said “Look Esther!! I found your car keys for you!! “I can’t find mine but at least I found yours “I looked in your car and they were just hanging there”! Of course, dear reader, we started laughing but it wasn’t funny. What if he actually started the car?
Then there was Ed. He was in his eighties when he came. He was slowly going blind and required a lot of care. There were about four different eye drops he had to have at different times during the day. You never heard him complain about the eye drops but he did complain about his girl friend. It seems they had been together for many years. He lived in a mobile home park and she lived across the road in a house. He kept the mobile home up but stayed with her most of the time. He had a car and used it to go the Doctors until his eyes got bad. Her health was not too good either. Her family decided Ed needed to leave so their Mother would stop trying to help him. I guessed from what was said he was not liked at all. This was kind of hard for me to take. I felt like she should have a say in this, her mind was fine, but the family made the decision. Ed really enjoyed sitting out by the in ground pool. He knew where the lines were and stayed in his chair. One day he wanted to go out and sit in the sun so I agreed. I took him to his chair and told him he could stay for half an hour and then I would be back. It would be time for his eye drops. About half an hour later I went back and said “OK Ed, I have your eye drops for you”. He replied, “Don’t worry, I already used them”. I said “What are you talking about “?
He said” They are right there where you left them”. I said “Ed, I didn’t leave anything here”. I glanced at the table and there was a small bottle of stuff you used to test the pool water. I ran for the house and yelled” Call the Emergency Squad” to Chris and grabbed a glass of water and ran back to the pool. I tipped Ed’s head back and poured the water in his eyes. The Emergency Squad arrived and rushed him to the hospital. I was right behind them. I am telling you, gentle reader, my heart was in my mouth. I couldn’t believe I had not checked the table. He never put eye drops in his eyes; we always did that for him. The end result was he was OK but I am telling you it never happened twice!! It was such a simple thing but just thinking what could have happened was terrible.
Well, dear reader that is it for now but I remember when Agnes arrived, in style…..
Love, Red
Jim had been with us about six months. He was a recovering alcoholic and he walked a lot. His daughter came to visit him quite regularly and he was always asking for his car. Her answer was always the same. “Your car is in the garage being repaired”. He would say “Okay but let me know when I can have it”.
One day I was in the living room talking to Pat when Jim came walking in. He was so happy!! He was holding a key ring in his hand and he said “Look Esther!! I found your car keys for you!! “I can’t find mine but at least I found yours “I looked in your car and they were just hanging there”! Of course, dear reader, we started laughing but it wasn’t funny. What if he actually started the car?
Then there was Ed. He was in his eighties when he came. He was slowly going blind and required a lot of care. There were about four different eye drops he had to have at different times during the day. You never heard him complain about the eye drops but he did complain about his girl friend. It seems they had been together for many years. He lived in a mobile home park and she lived across the road in a house. He kept the mobile home up but stayed with her most of the time. He had a car and used it to go the Doctors until his eyes got bad. Her health was not too good either. Her family decided Ed needed to leave so their Mother would stop trying to help him. I guessed from what was said he was not liked at all. This was kind of hard for me to take. I felt like she should have a say in this, her mind was fine, but the family made the decision. Ed really enjoyed sitting out by the in ground pool. He knew where the lines were and stayed in his chair. One day he wanted to go out and sit in the sun so I agreed. I took him to his chair and told him he could stay for half an hour and then I would be back. It would be time for his eye drops. About half an hour later I went back and said “OK Ed, I have your eye drops for you”. He replied, “Don’t worry, I already used them”. I said “What are you talking about “?
He said” They are right there where you left them”. I said “Ed, I didn’t leave anything here”. I glanced at the table and there was a small bottle of stuff you used to test the pool water. I ran for the house and yelled” Call the Emergency Squad” to Chris and grabbed a glass of water and ran back to the pool. I tipped Ed’s head back and poured the water in his eyes. The Emergency Squad arrived and rushed him to the hospital. I was right behind them. I am telling you, gentle reader, my heart was in my mouth. I couldn’t believe I had not checked the table. He never put eye drops in his eyes; we always did that for him. The end result was he was OK but I am telling you it never happened twice!! It was such a simple thing but just thinking what could have happened was terrible.
Well, dear reader that is it for now but I remember when Agnes arrived, in style…..
Love, Red
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
LOSINMG JEWELERY
I had said in one of my previous blogs I didn’t have rules and regulations in my home. I was a little misleading in this statement gentle reader, but for a good reason.
If someone came who had rings or expensive jewelery I was very explicit with the families. I would not be responsible if the jewelry came up missing. Everyone understood that. Most folks took the expensive items home. I was very fortunate because in thirty years nothing ever came up missing.
It was on a Tuesday when the call came. The hospital had a lady looking for a place. Her name was Caroline and she was on oxygen all the time. She seemed to think the world owed her a living and could be rather mean to the other folks at times. She had some nice earrings which she wore all the time. She also had what looked like a very expensive ring. I explained to her that the ring she was wearing should be in a safe deposit box. She insisted she had no relatives just a very nice friend named Truman who lived in Scotia. She said he had Power of Attorney in case anything happened and he would get the ring.
I really learned a lot from her. The reason she was so mean at times was because she was very depressed and no one ever came to see her. The way this came about was really interesting. She was always sending letters to Truman and I didn’t give it a second thought. I thought it was nice she a least had one friend.
One morning Kate, one of my employees, and I were just discussing lunch when there was a loud knock on the door. This was surprising because no one ever knocked, they would just come in. I opened the door and this gentleman said,” I am here to see Caroline immediately because this is what I received in the mail this morning”!! He handed me a letter she had sent him and when you opened it up it read, in huge letters “I HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED”!! PLEASE COME AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS OR CALL THE POLICE”!! I had to read this twice and then I said “I will take you to her room but she is fine”.
I proceeded to take him to her room and she was so happy to see him. She told him it was a joke just to get him to come and visit. He apologized to me. I told him not to worry and I needed to talk to him privately before he left. He said he would look me up. It was about forty minutes later and he came into the kitchen.
He said he was sorry about what she pulled and gave me a brief description of her life. She really had an abusive husband and resented anyone who was happy. I explained I was concerned about the expensive ring she was wearing. I didn’t want the responsibility of having it lost. I wanted him to take the ring with him. He went back to her room and talked to her again. When he returned her told us the ring was a fake. The real one was in the bank and the one she had on was probably worth about fifty dollars!! I was so relieved about that. Of course we never told her we knew but when you think of what could have happened it was scary.
It was after that we had an understanding with anyone who had anything of value.
When you have folks who are forgetful you really have to be careful. They not only lose clothes: or forget where their room is but I had one lady who forget where she put her teeth!! I am telling you dear reader; it was always interesting to see what would happen at Miner’s in one day.
Love, Red
If someone came who had rings or expensive jewelery I was very explicit with the families. I would not be responsible if the jewelry came up missing. Everyone understood that. Most folks took the expensive items home. I was very fortunate because in thirty years nothing ever came up missing.
It was on a Tuesday when the call came. The hospital had a lady looking for a place. Her name was Caroline and she was on oxygen all the time. She seemed to think the world owed her a living and could be rather mean to the other folks at times. She had some nice earrings which she wore all the time. She also had what looked like a very expensive ring. I explained to her that the ring she was wearing should be in a safe deposit box. She insisted she had no relatives just a very nice friend named Truman who lived in Scotia. She said he had Power of Attorney in case anything happened and he would get the ring.
I really learned a lot from her. The reason she was so mean at times was because she was very depressed and no one ever came to see her. The way this came about was really interesting. She was always sending letters to Truman and I didn’t give it a second thought. I thought it was nice she a least had one friend.
One morning Kate, one of my employees, and I were just discussing lunch when there was a loud knock on the door. This was surprising because no one ever knocked, they would just come in. I opened the door and this gentleman said,” I am here to see Caroline immediately because this is what I received in the mail this morning”!! He handed me a letter she had sent him and when you opened it up it read, in huge letters “I HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED”!! PLEASE COME AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS OR CALL THE POLICE”!! I had to read this twice and then I said “I will take you to her room but she is fine”.
I proceeded to take him to her room and she was so happy to see him. She told him it was a joke just to get him to come and visit. He apologized to me. I told him not to worry and I needed to talk to him privately before he left. He said he would look me up. It was about forty minutes later and he came into the kitchen.
He said he was sorry about what she pulled and gave me a brief description of her life. She really had an abusive husband and resented anyone who was happy. I explained I was concerned about the expensive ring she was wearing. I didn’t want the responsibility of having it lost. I wanted him to take the ring with him. He went back to her room and talked to her again. When he returned her told us the ring was a fake. The real one was in the bank and the one she had on was probably worth about fifty dollars!! I was so relieved about that. Of course we never told her we knew but when you think of what could have happened it was scary.
It was after that we had an understanding with anyone who had anything of value.
When you have folks who are forgetful you really have to be careful. They not only lose clothes: or forget where their room is but I had one lady who forget where she put her teeth!! I am telling you dear reader; it was always interesting to see what would happen at Miner’s in one day.
Love, Red
Monday, June 9, 2008
You must realize that to all the folks who lived in this house it was their home. I tried not to have rules and regulations because they needed to know it was home. If they wanted to come to the breakfast table in their p j’s with a housecoat on, it was okay. If they wanted to take a nap that was fine. To my way of thinking rules and regulations were a part of a nursing home and I didn’t have a nursing home. I had a Home for the Elderly.
Of course I had problems with the state over this. When I first started my business I was very proud of what I done. Anyone who lived in my home received the best care I could give. When I made the beds I put draw sheets on so if someone wet to bed I could change it easily. By putting draw sheets on also helped the emergency squad when they responded. If a person was in bed it was much easier to move the person by lifting with the draw sheets. I know this sounds boring, dear reader, but bear with me for a minute.
When I first started, remember, I wasn’t planning on having this business but here I was taking care of the elderly. I never applied for a license because it never occurred to me I needed one for this.
One day there was a knock on the door and when I opened the door a gentleman said “I am Mr. Smith with the NY State Department of Aging and we need to inspect your home”. I said “That is fine with me, just come right in”. Well, gentle reader, he did and it was terrible. I showed him the rooms and he immediately pulled back the covers and wanted to know what the draw sheets were for. I explained why I had them and he said “You are not supposed to have people who are incontinent”!! I said “I didn’t know that and why couldn’t I have them”. He said” Only a licensed facility can care for them”. I asked about a license and he said for me to have a license I could only have four people. Well, gentle reader, I had five people and how could I send someone away?? Was I supposed to draw straws? He took down everyone’s name and said I would be hearing from the state. I was just sick!! I mean I was really sick. I couldn’t sleep and I think I was inhaling cigarettes worse than I ever had before. I loved these people and now someone was going to make me move them out. It just wasn’t right. I called a dear friend and she said “Not to worry. They won’t make anyone leave because there is no room for them anywhere.” She said “You probably won’t even hear from them for a long time.”
About two months later I received a letter from the state and it said I was going to be inspected again. I called the person who signed the letter and asked when the inspection was going to be. She said within thirty days. I can’t begin to tell you how upset I was. I cleaned and cleaned and than I did it all over again. I just wanted everything to be OK. I tried to keep the smile in place but it was not easy. What if they “shut me down??” What would happen to my people? The biggest fear was telling me to move someone out. I just could not do that.
My husband and daughter were very helpful by encouraging me to stop all the worrying. My daughter was a huge help by doing a lot of the work but it is not easy to just quit worrying.
The thirty days passed and no one showed up. I got a little bit angry to think they could just do these things and then drop it. I waited five more days and I called them!! I talked to the person who signed the letter and she said they would be here within a week.
The next morning about 10:00 AM they showed up. There were four people and they came in, walked thru the rooms said everything was ok,. I asked about having too many people and she replied, “I only see four people here so your fine”!! I think I went into complete shock. I guess it shows that some of them really have a heart.
Of course all the people were happy but they really had no idea how close they came to being made to move!!
Sometimes ignorance is bliss, right……….(:<)!!!
Love, Red
Of course I had problems with the state over this. When I first started my business I was very proud of what I done. Anyone who lived in my home received the best care I could give. When I made the beds I put draw sheets on so if someone wet to bed I could change it easily. By putting draw sheets on also helped the emergency squad when they responded. If a person was in bed it was much easier to move the person by lifting with the draw sheets. I know this sounds boring, dear reader, but bear with me for a minute.
When I first started, remember, I wasn’t planning on having this business but here I was taking care of the elderly. I never applied for a license because it never occurred to me I needed one for this.
One day there was a knock on the door and when I opened the door a gentleman said “I am Mr. Smith with the NY State Department of Aging and we need to inspect your home”. I said “That is fine with me, just come right in”. Well, gentle reader, he did and it was terrible. I showed him the rooms and he immediately pulled back the covers and wanted to know what the draw sheets were for. I explained why I had them and he said “You are not supposed to have people who are incontinent”!! I said “I didn’t know that and why couldn’t I have them”. He said” Only a licensed facility can care for them”. I asked about a license and he said for me to have a license I could only have four people. Well, gentle reader, I had five people and how could I send someone away?? Was I supposed to draw straws? He took down everyone’s name and said I would be hearing from the state. I was just sick!! I mean I was really sick. I couldn’t sleep and I think I was inhaling cigarettes worse than I ever had before. I loved these people and now someone was going to make me move them out. It just wasn’t right. I called a dear friend and she said “Not to worry. They won’t make anyone leave because there is no room for them anywhere.” She said “You probably won’t even hear from them for a long time.”
About two months later I received a letter from the state and it said I was going to be inspected again. I called the person who signed the letter and asked when the inspection was going to be. She said within thirty days. I can’t begin to tell you how upset I was. I cleaned and cleaned and than I did it all over again. I just wanted everything to be OK. I tried to keep the smile in place but it was not easy. What if they “shut me down??” What would happen to my people? The biggest fear was telling me to move someone out. I just could not do that.
My husband and daughter were very helpful by encouraging me to stop all the worrying. My daughter was a huge help by doing a lot of the work but it is not easy to just quit worrying.
The thirty days passed and no one showed up. I got a little bit angry to think they could just do these things and then drop it. I waited five more days and I called them!! I talked to the person who signed the letter and she said they would be here within a week.
The next morning about 10:00 AM they showed up. There were four people and they came in, walked thru the rooms said everything was ok,. I asked about having too many people and she replied, “I only see four people here so your fine”!! I think I went into complete shock. I guess it shows that some of them really have a heart.
Of course all the people were happy but they really had no idea how close they came to being made to move!!
Sometimes ignorance is bliss, right……….(:<)!!!
Love, Red
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
LOOKING FOR STEVE
It was a beautiful day that day. It looked like we had a full schedule for the day ahead. I was going to work with my sister, Esther, until noon and then Chris was coming in for the 12:00PM - 8:00PM shift.
Chris had worked for me for many years and was a great person. She was so friendly and easy going. All of the people thought she was great.
On this day we had Dr. Finger coming to do everyone’s feet. This always took a good hour and sometimes longer. I always get a laugh with his name but it is true. He is one of the nicest foot doctors I have ever had the pleasure of working with. Just simply great!! He always took his time and spoke to everyone. It made them feel good and proud that he didn’t hurry and always made sure he didn’t hurt anyone. On the day he was due to show up everyone had to have their feet soaked. It was very important and the folks loved every bit of it. I always made a big production of this by telling someone their feet smelled. The other line was “How long have you been wearing these socks??” or “Why have you got socks with holes- do you think we could throw them away?? It was always a very happy day for the doctor and the people.
The only person who wasn’t happy was Steve. Steve had Alzheimer’s. It was very hard to get him to sit still for any length of time so we always waited until the doctor showed up before we started soaking his feet. This seemed to work pretty well. Steve had come to live with me when his wife had a heart attack. The story she told the doctor was –she fell down the stairs and Steve wasn’t home. When he came home she hollered and hollered for him to help her but he said he was fixing dinner and to be quiet. She was finally able to pull herself across the room and got the phone and called 911. When the first responders came they had a hard time with Steve. He wasn’t going to let them in but he finally did. They said she had to go to the hospital and she said Steve had to go also; he couldn’t be left alone. They took both of them to the hospital and he sat by her bed all night and slept. The next day the Dr. Jolly called me. He said’ I have a patient here with a bad heart and her husband has Alzheimer’s and is sitting with her. Can you come and help her?” I went right to the hospital. When I arrived in the room I said very quietly, “Good Morning Mrs. White. I have a Home for the Elderly. Your doctor told me your husband needed a place to stay so I thought he could go with me.” She was exhausted but she replied “I don’t think he will go with you. He never leaves me”. I turned around and with a big smile on my face, in my best voice said “Hi Steve! I wonder if you would like to go get a cup of coffee and a doughnut with me.”He said “I sure would but I don’t have a coat”. I said, don’t you worry about a coat, I have my van right outside the door and the heater is on. “Let’s go now and come back later”. He got right up and I said to Mrs. White “I will be back in an hour and you get some sleep.” I took Steve to my home and when we got inside my sister, Esther, was waiting. I had called her on the phone and prepared her for Steve. She said” Hi Steve, I got a cup of coffee and a fresh donut for you”! He sat right down just as happy as a clam. I went back to the hospital and told Mrs. White where her husband was. She couldn’t believe he was happy. She was so relieved to know he was going to be ok and she went to sleep. She was in the hospital for almost a month but Steve was fine with us. It took a lot of patience just to keep him happy but we all tried. Mrs. White said he had been a stock broker all his life so we figured out a plan. If he started to pace I would tell him to look up some stock and he would sit down and start reading the stock market. Steve was a perfect gentleman at all times. There was a chair in the living room he always called ‘his chair’. This was typical of all of the family. Each one had their own chair. On this day Esther had taken the cover off his chair and washed it. Steve wouldn’t sit down and we couldn’t figure out what was wrong. He wasn’t interested in the stock market or anything else, just kept pacing. Then came the dawn!! Esther got the cover back on the chair and he sat right down. That is when we realized with an Alzheimer person you couldn’t change anything
Dr. Finger was supposed to be there at 4:00 but he was late. It was almost 4:30 and I was a little nervous because we ate at 5:00 and it made it a little awkward if we got off schedule. It always took the doctor a good hour to do everyone and he loved to talk. Don’t get me wrong, gentle reader, but when I say he liked talking…I meant he really liked talking.
Steve was really starting to get upset. He had soaked his feet and was ready for the doctor. Dr. Finger finally arrived and he did Steve first. Dr. Finger started on the rest of the folks and everything went smoothly. By the time we were done it was 5:30 and everyone was starved. Dinner was uneventful and by 6:30 they were all watching the news.
I left and was in the bedroom when Chris called and said “I can’t find Steve. I have looked everywhere and he is not here.”I immediately started looking. He never went off the porch so I went through all the bedrooms and no Steve!!! I said to Chris” He has to be here somewhere so we will look again!!” Chris went one way and I went the other. I looked in Pat’s room, no luck, in Bob’s room, no luck, in Selma’s room, no luck, in Jim’s room but Jim was sleeping so I met Chris back in the dining room. She is pretty upset by now and so am I. She said “What are we going to do??!!” I said “I am going to call 911 because this is serious”!! Just as I finished saying that I glance around the room at the folks watching TV and THERE SAT JIM!! How could Jim be watching the news if he was sleeping? I go back to Jim’s room and guess what?? Steve is sleeping in Jim’s bed. We had washed bedspreads and Chris put Steve’s on Jim’s bed. Steve saw the bedspread and he figured it was his bed so he went to bed. I won’t tell you how relieved I was and happy but I will tell you this. We never changed the bedspread or the cover on Steve’ things again!! I had to buy double of these things so when they were washed he still had one on the bed and chair. That is how important these items were to a person with Alzheimers.
Steve really helped me understand what a horrible disease Alzheimer’s is. You could not change anything in his room; the colors had to stay the same. He didn’t like any murder stories on TV and some of the soap operas upset him. He loved his wife dearly and we always talked about her to him. We would make it a point to use her name so he would not forget it. Dr. Jolly was the best doctor for figuring out his medicine. I took Steve to see him many times and Dr. Jolly was able to get him on medicines to help with the pacing. A few months later I got another person with this same thing and by than I knew what to expect.
Well, gentle reader, you have a great day because you sure deserve it!!!!
Love Red
Chris had worked for me for many years and was a great person. She was so friendly and easy going. All of the people thought she was great.
On this day we had Dr. Finger coming to do everyone’s feet. This always took a good hour and sometimes longer. I always get a laugh with his name but it is true. He is one of the nicest foot doctors I have ever had the pleasure of working with. Just simply great!! He always took his time and spoke to everyone. It made them feel good and proud that he didn’t hurry and always made sure he didn’t hurt anyone. On the day he was due to show up everyone had to have their feet soaked. It was very important and the folks loved every bit of it. I always made a big production of this by telling someone their feet smelled. The other line was “How long have you been wearing these socks??” or “Why have you got socks with holes- do you think we could throw them away?? It was always a very happy day for the doctor and the people.
The only person who wasn’t happy was Steve. Steve had Alzheimer’s. It was very hard to get him to sit still for any length of time so we always waited until the doctor showed up before we started soaking his feet. This seemed to work pretty well. Steve had come to live with me when his wife had a heart attack. The story she told the doctor was –she fell down the stairs and Steve wasn’t home. When he came home she hollered and hollered for him to help her but he said he was fixing dinner and to be quiet. She was finally able to pull herself across the room and got the phone and called 911. When the first responders came they had a hard time with Steve. He wasn’t going to let them in but he finally did. They said she had to go to the hospital and she said Steve had to go also; he couldn’t be left alone. They took both of them to the hospital and he sat by her bed all night and slept. The next day the Dr. Jolly called me. He said’ I have a patient here with a bad heart and her husband has Alzheimer’s and is sitting with her. Can you come and help her?” I went right to the hospital. When I arrived in the room I said very quietly, “Good Morning Mrs. White. I have a Home for the Elderly. Your doctor told me your husband needed a place to stay so I thought he could go with me.” She was exhausted but she replied “I don’t think he will go with you. He never leaves me”. I turned around and with a big smile on my face, in my best voice said “Hi Steve! I wonder if you would like to go get a cup of coffee and a doughnut with me.”He said “I sure would but I don’t have a coat”. I said, don’t you worry about a coat, I have my van right outside the door and the heater is on. “Let’s go now and come back later”. He got right up and I said to Mrs. White “I will be back in an hour and you get some sleep.” I took Steve to my home and when we got inside my sister, Esther, was waiting. I had called her on the phone and prepared her for Steve. She said” Hi Steve, I got a cup of coffee and a fresh donut for you”! He sat right down just as happy as a clam. I went back to the hospital and told Mrs. White where her husband was. She couldn’t believe he was happy. She was so relieved to know he was going to be ok and she went to sleep. She was in the hospital for almost a month but Steve was fine with us. It took a lot of patience just to keep him happy but we all tried. Mrs. White said he had been a stock broker all his life so we figured out a plan. If he started to pace I would tell him to look up some stock and he would sit down and start reading the stock market. Steve was a perfect gentleman at all times. There was a chair in the living room he always called ‘his chair’. This was typical of all of the family. Each one had their own chair. On this day Esther had taken the cover off his chair and washed it. Steve wouldn’t sit down and we couldn’t figure out what was wrong. He wasn’t interested in the stock market or anything else, just kept pacing. Then came the dawn!! Esther got the cover back on the chair and he sat right down. That is when we realized with an Alzheimer person you couldn’t change anything
Dr. Finger was supposed to be there at 4:00 but he was late. It was almost 4:30 and I was a little nervous because we ate at 5:00 and it made it a little awkward if we got off schedule. It always took the doctor a good hour to do everyone and he loved to talk. Don’t get me wrong, gentle reader, but when I say he liked talking…I meant he really liked talking.
Steve was really starting to get upset. He had soaked his feet and was ready for the doctor. Dr. Finger finally arrived and he did Steve first. Dr. Finger started on the rest of the folks and everything went smoothly. By the time we were done it was 5:30 and everyone was starved. Dinner was uneventful and by 6:30 they were all watching the news.
I left and was in the bedroom when Chris called and said “I can’t find Steve. I have looked everywhere and he is not here.”I immediately started looking. He never went off the porch so I went through all the bedrooms and no Steve!!! I said to Chris” He has to be here somewhere so we will look again!!” Chris went one way and I went the other. I looked in Pat’s room, no luck, in Bob’s room, no luck, in Selma’s room, no luck, in Jim’s room but Jim was sleeping so I met Chris back in the dining room. She is pretty upset by now and so am I. She said “What are we going to do??!!” I said “I am going to call 911 because this is serious”!! Just as I finished saying that I glance around the room at the folks watching TV and THERE SAT JIM!! How could Jim be watching the news if he was sleeping? I go back to Jim’s room and guess what?? Steve is sleeping in Jim’s bed. We had washed bedspreads and Chris put Steve’s on Jim’s bed. Steve saw the bedspread and he figured it was his bed so he went to bed. I won’t tell you how relieved I was and happy but I will tell you this. We never changed the bedspread or the cover on Steve’ things again!! I had to buy double of these things so when they were washed he still had one on the bed and chair. That is how important these items were to a person with Alzheimers.
Steve really helped me understand what a horrible disease Alzheimer’s is. You could not change anything in his room; the colors had to stay the same. He didn’t like any murder stories on TV and some of the soap operas upset him. He loved his wife dearly and we always talked about her to him. We would make it a point to use her name so he would not forget it. Dr. Jolly was the best doctor for figuring out his medicine. I took Steve to see him many times and Dr. Jolly was able to get him on medicines to help with the pacing. A few months later I got another person with this same thing and by than I knew what to expect.
Well, gentle reader, you have a great day because you sure deserve it!!!!
Love Red
Thursday, May 22, 2008
WHAT'S FOR DINNER
It was a really beautiful day when things started going wrong. One of the aides had called in sick so I was on my own. Now you know, gentle reader, I can handle anything going through my home. Like Dr. Pitkin always said “You just wing it and your fine”! We were supposed to have waffles for breakfast but the waffle machine broke and from then on it was downhill! I offered French toast but Harold didn’t want French toast so I said pancakes. Pete didn’t want any pancakes and Pat said she would like an omelet. I just kept smiling and talking so they wouldn’t notice it was taking a long time for the food to appear. I was doing great until Barry started pounding on his table in his room. Barry had Huntington’s disease and always stayed in his room. I went in and told him breakfast was coming and just be patient. He smiled and said he would wait. You just felt like giving him a big hug—so I did. I finally got everyone what they wanted for breakfast and they were happy. Harold thought he would go for a short walk and I reminded him not to go past the end of the driveway. Them Pat said she wanted a shower. I asked if she could wait because I didn’t want to try to do that without another person there. She was not too happy because her husband was coming to visit. I told her we would wash her up and she would be beautiful. She liked that. Selma decided she wanted to watch something different on TV so now we have a small disagreement going. Sam said he wanted the TV left where it was. I reminded him he had a TV in his room but he said he didn’t want to watch TV alone. I said Ok I will take Selma in your room and she can watch her program. He thought that was just great and he would go and watch with her! I tell you dear reader; they were like a bunch of little kids. Then I noticed Harold wasn’t back from his walk. I hurried outdoors and got on the golf cart to go to the end of the driveway. I couldn’t see Harold and I got a terrible feeling. I looked down the road and ..no Harold. I wnet back to the house and parked the gof cart—I was going to call 911 and here comes Harold out oif the garage! He said he found a nice place to sit out there and it was nice and quiet. Then he heard me and figured he better let me know where he was!
We made it thru lunch fine and most of them went to take a nap. I received a call from the county and they were looking for a room. You know the answer to that one. I told Pat she was going to have a roommate for a few days and she was ok with that. All the people knew me and they always shared things. It was such a great feeling to be able to help other people. I must say my people were never selfish when it came to having another person move in.
Carol, from the county, came with a lady named Mary. It seems Mary’s husband had died and the family didn’t want her to be alone. Mary was very nice, a little forgetful and she used a walker. Everyone spoke to her and told her they were happy to have her with us.
Now we have a problem because I was so busy getting the room ready I forgot about dinner. I opened the freezer door and thought “Thank Heavens I bought the frozen lasagna last week”! I turned the oven on to preheat and went and checked. Everyone wanted lasagna so I figured we were golden. I should have known better, dear reader, but it had been a long day.
Pat’s husband, Kenny had arrived and he loved to talk. I mean he lived to talk. He was a very nice man but you know the type—you just couldn’t quite him down. He knew we were going to have lasagna and hinted he really liked it and before you knew it I told him to stay for dinner. Of course he was really happy. I got the table set and all the medicine done and checked the time. We had about five minutes so I told everyone they could go to the table. They all did and took their medicine. I grabbed the pot holders and opened the oven door to take the lasagna out and there was nothing there!! I really had to blink twice, dear reader, because I couldn’t figure out where the lasagna was. I turned around and looked and it was still on the counter—I never put it in the oven. I started laughing because it was funny but I also realized I had a bunch of hungry people here waiting to eat!!!After I explained what happened they laughed also. I said the fastest thing I could do was make pancakes or order a pizza. We ended up with pancakes for dinner and believe it or not they were all happy. Pat’s husband stayed for the pancakes and said when he left to let him know when we were having the lasagna he would be back!!!
I was really glad when I got everyone settled for the night, dear reader. I was really tired. I had just set down for my usual cup of coffee and Barry called me. I went to see what was going on and he wanted to know if he could have pancakes for breakfast because they sure tasted good!! I told him he could but the rest of the crew was having their regular breakfast. He said ok to that and was sleeping in five minutes. Barry was really special and we all spoiled him.
That was a busy day at my home but it was a great feeling to know everyone was well and happy and it looked like it was going to be a good night. The only comment I made to the aide who called in sick was “I have rules here you know. If you want to be sick you ask and I will let you know if we have time for that”. I sure never had time to be sick!!!
This was about the time we lost Steve. That is my next one…..
Love, Red
We made it thru lunch fine and most of them went to take a nap. I received a call from the county and they were looking for a room. You know the answer to that one. I told Pat she was going to have a roommate for a few days and she was ok with that. All the people knew me and they always shared things. It was such a great feeling to be able to help other people. I must say my people were never selfish when it came to having another person move in.
Carol, from the county, came with a lady named Mary. It seems Mary’s husband had died and the family didn’t want her to be alone. Mary was very nice, a little forgetful and she used a walker. Everyone spoke to her and told her they were happy to have her with us.
Now we have a problem because I was so busy getting the room ready I forgot about dinner. I opened the freezer door and thought “Thank Heavens I bought the frozen lasagna last week”! I turned the oven on to preheat and went and checked. Everyone wanted lasagna so I figured we were golden. I should have known better, dear reader, but it had been a long day.
Pat’s husband, Kenny had arrived and he loved to talk. I mean he lived to talk. He was a very nice man but you know the type—you just couldn’t quite him down. He knew we were going to have lasagna and hinted he really liked it and before you knew it I told him to stay for dinner. Of course he was really happy. I got the table set and all the medicine done and checked the time. We had about five minutes so I told everyone they could go to the table. They all did and took their medicine. I grabbed the pot holders and opened the oven door to take the lasagna out and there was nothing there!! I really had to blink twice, dear reader, because I couldn’t figure out where the lasagna was. I turned around and looked and it was still on the counter—I never put it in the oven. I started laughing because it was funny but I also realized I had a bunch of hungry people here waiting to eat!!!After I explained what happened they laughed also. I said the fastest thing I could do was make pancakes or order a pizza. We ended up with pancakes for dinner and believe it or not they were all happy. Pat’s husband stayed for the pancakes and said when he left to let him know when we were having the lasagna he would be back!!!
I was really glad when I got everyone settled for the night, dear reader. I was really tired. I had just set down for my usual cup of coffee and Barry called me. I went to see what was going on and he wanted to know if he could have pancakes for breakfast because they sure tasted good!! I told him he could but the rest of the crew was having their regular breakfast. He said ok to that and was sleeping in five minutes. Barry was really special and we all spoiled him.
That was a busy day at my home but it was a great feeling to know everyone was well and happy and it looked like it was going to be a good night. The only comment I made to the aide who called in sick was “I have rules here you know. If you want to be sick you ask and I will let you know if we have time for that”. I sure never had time to be sick!!!
This was about the time we lost Steve. That is my next one…..
Love, Red
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